Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
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Top comments
nolaneldridge 1
"get ready to feel the thunda!!!"
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Is he?
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Comments (171)
Decapitation 3
Kick him in the balls and ask if that feels like lightning!!!
Troy_K 7
No.
happyabby123 0
Haha
The_Troller 14
Obviously youve never been kicked hard in the balls before. But now you should be.
jizzwold 21
I never condone intentional ball injury. There is a grey area if someone is trying to rape/kill you but otherwise DON'T DO IT.
Decapitation 3
No I have, this was just a bad attempt at a joke.
kidwiththeface42 7
Does that mean he was as fast as lightning as well, then?
onorexveritas 24
you should've smacked his sac and said "I GOT HOS!"
nitram06 2
You have, to the millionth power, the most moronic profile "about me" I've ever seen on fml.
jizzwold 21
81 I couldn't agree more. I hate most girls my age.
raphanne_fml 33
Your butt got Pikachued!
chane1100 6
GTFO.
raphanne_fml 33
Ahaha... nope!
SwiftFaux 0
hes my hero
Deadzombie 2
Ha!!
FlashBurn 13
Should have asked him how he likes being a side effect.
jaredofmo 22
Why do these never tell us whether the OP is male or female? Either way... Drop the thunder.
metallicshadow 16
shoulda said "I AM THE TABLE!"
deviable 9
At least the thunder didn't come from the other end.