Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the middle of great sex when he suddenly called out his ex's name. Just before I decided to yell at him and throw him out of my room, I realised he performed better when he yelled her name. So, I let him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband and he screamed at me to the point of tears. He asked, “Why are you crying? Last night we had rough sex where I spanked you, threw you around in bed, called you names, and you enjoyed that shit.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, my boyfriend suddenly stopped in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
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Top comments
IloveToLaugh143 21
Hopefully you checked on him to see if he's okay OP. Maybe ask him why he reacted that way?
therouni 23
Sounds like someone is overly sensitive about their sexual prowess. He probably has self esteem issues.
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Comments (83)
IloveToLaugh143 21
Hopefully you checked on him to see if he's okay OP. Maybe ask him why he reacted that way?
Harpy20 24
Sounds like a manchild.
belljars 22
He's my manchild, but I swear on his penis that I shall get my revenge.
scice03 8
Sensitive Sallies can go home.
Adm_Twigs 19
I totally feel for you... maybe next time turn it into a bondage thing ha! that'll teach him
incoherentrmblr 22
Blue ovaries?...
mb2_native 15
34, maybe he was going as hard as he can and you might have made him feel emasculated by saying that haha still funny tho, "don't tell me what to do" haha
elcee1987 18
See if he's okay?? Why?? She's the one who should be checked on after her boyfriend pulled a hissy fit. Are there other ways that he is controlling? Frankly, I'm concerned.
I_cant_think 10
I feel like you don't understand. I also feel like you don't understand much.
feelingold 18
OP.. you can tell me what to do any time.
Alastor13X 8
"I'm going as hard as I can! I'm gonna go smoke a bowl, eat some Doritos, and play Pokemon Silver!" Damn, that just makes me sad to hear that... If you can't man up to the challenge, step down from the pedestal and let a champion have a go at it. I feel bad for you OP. I honestly don't know what is happening to "men" these days, but it is sad. I know guys who'd probably pull this same stunt, then brag about how well they put it to you, so unless he has some kind of mental issue I'd definitely consider making him work harder for it.
Spyderbane 10
by any chance were your instructions to go harder sound like "Stuff me like a Turkey"?
HJKM_fml 19
Sounds like someone is a spoiled douche.
LCPLStewie 23
Heavily agree "Don't tell me what to do"???? Grow the **** up!
ohcheriecherie 20
yeah, what a little bitch.
ladyLALAA 29
I'd be saying that next time he asks for a *******!
Bluevalkyrie 13
Wow, I am so sorry. Don't let him live that down (for a while, at least). FYL.
wannabeactress71 8
"Babe get me a beer?" "Don't tell me what to do!" It will work.
therouni 23
Sounds like someone is overly sensitive about their sexual prowess. He probably has self esteem issues.
Mirorbo 27
What the **** is his problem?! Goodness, I hope you two can get that sorted out!
CloudBustah 20
#5 you're probably the cleanest FML commenter I have ever seen.
KillSwitch96 18
Yeah #55, because **** is SUCH a clean word.
CloudBustah 20
#65 whoops, didn't see that word! Guess reading FML while tired as **** at 2 am wasn't the greatest idea. Sorry
DeeDeeJay 15
Maybe he thought he wasn't doing good enough...
zandalee 20
Or his willy wasn't hard enough.
onlychildFTW 34
Or big enough.
rkdstp1995 25
someone was a grumpy-pants. possibly he has an issue with dominance and feels small when being told what to do in a situation where men tend to be more dominant? if that makes any sense at all...
scice03 8
I feel like it should empower him that his woman wants more of what he was doing... Men.
Izis_fml 9
Though that is a bit of an overreaction, don't be too hard on him.
kurodansei 16
He certainly wasn't being hard on her.
raeepressley 12
Badum tshhhh
worldclassrager 41
Um he should obey you to an extent for that come on you want more he should give more...give it time oo
worldclassrager 41
Op*
TheGreatAlexande 12
Was anyone else instantly reminded of the mailman from Drake and Josh?
Krirn 21
Every time someone wishes me to have a nice day, I'm instantly reminded of him. You sir, deserve a high five.
AnOriginalName 19
I accidentally did that while I was participating in a psych experiment at school the other day. "Do what the computer instructs." "I do what I want!"
KVKdragon 26
I was looking for a comment mentioning Drake and Josh. Wasn't disappointed XD
sone22 4
YES.