Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, it was me and my wife's anniversary. I spent it consoling her as she cried over a man she loved 20 years ago. They never even dated. FML
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, and since she always makes me suffer when I forget, I made a fancy 4-course meal in our living room, wearing a suit and tie to really rub it in that this time she forgot. Turns out I got the right date, but wrong month. It’s next month, and so… my suffering begins. FML
Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML
Today, my husband told me that for our anniversary he will be watching the UFC fight, because it is, "one of the biggest events ever and he just can't miss it." Apparently, our one-year wedding anniversary is not as important. To add to it, he said we should watch it together. Very romantic. FML
Today, I found out that my husband asked out another woman on a date five days before our 11th anniversary. FML
Today, my boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary celebration because his ex girlfriend asked him to go to a wedding with her and pose as her fake boyfriend. FML
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
And she talked to you about it? No wonder it's amateur.
QQMorePlox 18
...5 rule of fight club no shirts no shoes. OP, why aren't you going to watch?!
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Comments (87)
Pleonasm 36
And she talked to you about it? No wonder it's amateur.
Thundering_Jibbs 13
If I were OP, I wouldn't eat his wife's split pea soup...
\ 28
I sure hope that parking lot isn't next to a liposuction clinic
rocker_chick105 31
The first rule of fight club...
powerhunger 4
It's funny because if the genders were reversed, the comments here would be a lot more different.
Pleonasm 36
For my part, my joke would've remained the same.
Ki11erC 18
You replied under 1's comment, no comment in this comment section would be different at all.
wowthatissad 9
It's funny because your not supposed to talk about fight club.
IanMoone3611 12
Wait, isn't it usually the other way around?
CallMeWindSock 24
Never break up a fight between two females.
Ty_Peer 4
Or in this case, between a girl and herself
QQMorePlox 18
...5 rule of fight club no shirts no shoes. OP, why aren't you going to watch?!
uoeno_fml 20
Well they already broke the first rule
KylarStern19 7
And the second and the third
EnterSandman_fml 20
Maybe his wife's friends are Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnell, Hillary Clinton, and Melissa McCarthy?
bribecrazyy 14
she sounds awesome! even if she did break the first rule.
tehman117 21
And second
missfrenchie 11
And third too
Horsempeg 25
That is pretty awesome.. sorry about you anniversary, but come on!
RoboCunnilingus 23
Why are you telling us this? WHAT THE FIRST RULE, OP?
walkingspastic 22
Sounds like a keeper to me. Make sure you keep her dinner warm!
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Dude. Your wife sounds awesome. I want her autograph in case she goes pro!
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I strongly advise you not to start an argument about this. Otherwise your next fml might involve the word hospital.
br00kr 22
Hahahahaha thats funny!!!
thatnucca 36
2nd rule of fight club: don't bail on fight club for any personal celebratory reasons... No?
poodle_juice 17
2nd rule of fight club: DO NOT talk about fight club.