Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Thunderstruck
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Cool move, dude
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Top comments
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Grab his dick, shake it savagely and say, "aftershock"!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Ow! Shaking it "savagely" would hurt! D:
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Comments (155)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Ow! Shaking it "savagely" would hurt! D:
IAmJad 18
Swag.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Secretly you're gay? Well, that's nice of you to come out of the closet. (Secretly We Are Gay, for those who don't know)
SlenderMann 10
Your boyfriend sounds awesome.
Trai 6
You're just a cat! What would you know?
cat0720 9
#55 you must be a guy
isallwaysme 27
new plan next time I see my girlfriend.
skellingtonfart 18
65- You say you're a grammar (and spelling?) Nazi, but after each period you used in your description box, you didn't use a capital letter. Also, your username is 'isallwaysme' shouldn't it be 'isalwaysme'. People like you need To go back to Grammar Nazi school.
Sinamoi 18
69- You forgot to captialize the "G" in the first "grammar". Also, in your username, the word is spelled "s-k-e-l-e-t-o-n." Pro Grammar Nazi/lawyer/ninja.
SlenderMann 10
You know I was kidding right.
ShyAnn29 15
My boobs hurt just thinking about it!
oh_merde 11
You forgot to capitalized "Lawyer" and "Ninja". The period goes inside the quotation marks too.
tylahgrace 12
well, I just tried it... no idea how they would react to an actual earthquake but I doubt it was like that.
Sinamoi 18
You put "capitialize" in its past tense form. Wow, we suck at this.
Sinamoi 18
You put "captialize" in its past tense form. Wow, we suck at this.
oh_merde 11
You broke the chain :'(
HelenLFC 27
Anyone else hear the sarcasm in 55's post ? Just me ? Ok then.
Right_in_Two 5
I believe that grammar is not supposed to be capitalized, since it is not a propper name and it is not in the beginning of the sentence.
Girreth 7
Oh my god! Did you warn Haiti and Japan??
sens3sfailing 25
I luv grAmar soooo much! u gis r jst 2 funy! *shoots the part of me that made that shitty grammar possible* oh if only it were that simple :(
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Grab his dick, shake it savagely and say, "aftershock"!
WhatYouMean 4
Ouch, no, don't do that Dx
Charmillionaire 13
9 - Ouch? I'd say he'd probably like it. Now if OP grabbed the balls, well...
lilhellian 27
Wouldn't this be technically a hand job?
gc327072 31
2- Aftercock*
lilhellian 27
Wouldn't this technically be a hand job?
austint123 4
J
SqueakyChipmunk 22
34) not if you twist that shit. And dig your claws in. God, I'm evil.
lilhellian 27
41 I'm sure that's more of a bondage hand job.. Some people are into pain.. Remember the S&M FML..
bluevayero 42
im still laughing. thank you you made my day!
sens3sfailing 25
well it isnt like every girl is amazing at hand jobs and know how to do them right. remember jingle balls girl?
Subtext 10
And if you shake it long enough, the volcano will erupt! Pray that it's not inactive...
mell123_fml 4
In before somebody says 'He's a keeper'.
TheWindowLicker 13
Inb4*
PenguinBitch 44
The stupidity in this thread amazes me. Keep it going my little guinea pigs.
Carmstro 13
52 I'm expecting a full lab report
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
He's a keeper.
smartman136 8
Wouldn't it be a compliment saying that your boobs were big enough to shake the earth. Litterally.
Silent_Thrill 17
And I thought I could never feel bad for being with my girlfriend intimately... thanks a lot!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Well, no sex or shimmying for me. ****.
howdeedoo 22
But chipmunks are tiny...that wouldn't cause an earthquake
kenleybunch 15
He's a creeper.... Oops I mean keeper
lilhellian 27
14 How did we get a female baby pomeranian chipmunk named Joey then? D:
sens3sfailing 25
there is a point where boobs are too large for me personally...causing earthquaks isnt quite there though ;)
howdeedoo 22
Well, return the favor. That ought to hurt him a lot more
Silent_Thrill 17
Unless he has the mmmmm..... certain kinky side in him like a few mmmmm... certain people do. ;) You know, people who like the pain! ^^ too creepy?
XKXKKXK 10
Yep.
stepymac 15
U let him get away with that?
1215116a 14
No, if he did he would have gotten arrested for ripping her chest off.
143dav 8
I wonder what the magnitude was for this one..
BlueFlatts 20
Let's hope it was below a 3.0, that way it didn't leave too much damage in it's wake. Cursed hand tectonics.
vintageemerald 10
Imagine how much that hurt, ouch! FYL OP.
2RaRa25 6
You should've kicked him in the nuts and yelled "Meteorite!!!" Sorry, overreaction, but sometimes the boobs can be sensitive. Especially when savagely shook--you know what, that wouldn't be overreacting...
dragonman62 3
That would definitely be an over reaction big difference between shaking and kicking
TurquoiseJesus 15
While I don't have boobs myself, I'm fairly confident that a savage shake of the boob is no where close to the level of a nut shot.
vintageemerald 10
Actually, I strongly agree both are equal in pain.
mfischer 17
While I don't have breasts, I haven't noticed women falling to the ground in agony when something accidentally hits them in the boob. I'm not saying that boob shots don't hurt, just that it doesn't seem to be as painful as a nutshot.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
The agonizing pain of a nut shot is not comprehendible to women.
Carmstro 13
85, some times in the month hurt more than others for some girls. Sometimes walking is painful. And how many times have you seen girls get punched in the boobs?
Maraudera 6
It's been proven nut shots hurt more than a woman in labour
jem970 19
Really 93? I want to see this "proof." I highly doubt it.
Carmstro 13
93 if you're talking about that del unit "fact" where a nut shot is conveniently over 9000 units, that's not real...
lilhellian 27
Lets put it this way. A nut shot can lead to impotence and infertility and MAY hurt more then labor. Labor MAY not hurt as much as a nut shot but it lasts longer.. So it is somewhat even grounds but it sucks more for men because of the potential life long effects...
mfischer 17
92- again, not saying that boobs aren't inconvenient or painful. Just that being kicked in the balls brings a man to his knees, drops his voice an octave, and can cause loss of consciousness or even fertility issues. Being hit in the boobs causes none of those things. I've seen it happen quite a few times, surprisingly. My family is violent on occasion...
slimjim8094 12
I've devised a testing procedure. The trick is to use a shared phenomenon that's common to both sexes and similar amounts of pain and compare against that. 1) find men and women who have had nutshot/labor and kidney stones 2) ask which hurt more Most women I've asked/heard say kidney stones hurt more, and most men say nutshots hurt more. But please check yourself, no reason to trust my anecdotes.
zoeerm 4
85- its bcoz us women/girls are discrete.. gettin hit in the **** hurts more than you guys think. we just accept the pain, but the pain lasts for awhile. Its like labour, no men know the pain of it..
The_Water_Ninja 9
well it's been proven that women can take pain better than men, but then that also varies from person to person. I.e. one man might be able to stand much more amounts of pain than one woman
xXxSCREAMxXx 3
So a child is not a life-long effect?
Carmstro 13
Lol 112 yeah that was a legitimate question. Boobs don't hurt as much as a swift kick between the legs might for either party I'm sure.
stepymac 15
U let him get away with that?