Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
TheNewGuy03 29
damn, girl, brush yo teefs! |the kid|
mintcar 10
YDI for smelly breath. Although, he could've been a lot nicer about it.
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Comments (191)
WOGBRO 6
I'm the first one to comment and oh yeah sorry FYL
Juliaa15 6
You are pathetic. No one cares who posted first.
ScaughtieHolden 11
sweet I'm 10th. that matters way more than fourth
Juliaa15 6
Sweet you're the eleventh which has nothing to do with the fourth.
beagle40 0
haha your boyfriend is chill. go make him a sandwhich
mintcar 10
Clearly, the only number that matters is mine.
DropDead77 11
I think my number is better.. yup
TheNewGuy03 29
damn, girl, brush yo teefs! |the kid|
beagle40 0
yeah go brush your teeth, then go to the kitchen and make him a sandwhich!
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I feel like I need a six pack to comment here, but what the hell....
VorpikeII 17
no no pendatik. It's no the spelling he failed at, he just forgot the space. you know: "sand which?"
UnluckyChicka 0
he coulda said worse :)
PYLrulz 17
47 - looks like you are having trouble
PYLrulz 17
Ok, the app froze on ke and gave me trouble, so I'll post this from safari 47 - looks like you are having trouble spelling s SAMMICH too
xledellz 0
hahahhahaha #42
sourgirl101 29
Tired of the sandwich jokes already! Maybe it's the newbies that don't realize they are no longer funny!
sourgirl101 29
Tired of the sandwich jokes already! Maybe it's the newbies that don't realize they are no longer funny!
sourgirl101 29
Tired of the sandwich jokes already! Maybe it's the newbies that don't realize they are no longer funny!
sterlingarcher 1
haha brush your teeth!
MissBunny25 0
sounds like you need a toofbrush. (yes, I'm aware I spelled toothbrush wrong, so stfu grammar nazis)
iheartrainxx 0
ah thank youu
impregnator 0
u need a beating
joe_says_so 0
hey missbunny, if you took the time to say your aware of a typo then why didn't you fix it? or just leave it and later tell grammar Nazis to STFU. I'm starting to think you should quit trying to be cool.
ItzJarrin 0
Joe, it wasn't a typo....
jerica98 0
noo
DallasFreeSex 0
agree
DumDum999 0
I CALL MY BURPS MOUTH FARTS
MissBunny25 0
165, you're so idiotic. I'm really laughing my ass off at your stupidity. thank you for that.
sparklesbaby 0
Ahaha . That Juss Made My Day xD
PeteyPablo12308 20
At Joe: are you serious?!? Wow... You are RETARDED!!! Lmfao.
cross3 3
lmao ewwwww gross brush ur teeth nd floss but umm fyl that must have sucked nd been embarrasing to hear
jrsgreenfire257 0
Whats up with the emoticons? They dont make you coolI
A7X_LoVeee 10
I don't think he was trying to be cool..
matt1990 0
@55.. a7x blows. listen to real music
j_cat187 20
weeeeeeeed :)
natas_fml 13
^Agreed, a7x is for *******.
LifeSucksbtw 0
calm all of your **** guys. everyone has there preferences.
humzizzl3 0
lol aren't you a pussy?
MissBunny25 0
73 shut the hell up. go ******* fly a plane back into your cave where you belong. get your momma to make you some macaroni when you get there. *slings whip* yeah, bitch.
broccoli2 0
awesome.
A7X_LoVeee 10
73 and 105 just because YOU don't like their music doesn't mean it sucks. Morons.
natirixoxo 0
I think they're cool
tulsafml 0
o.O
cross3 3
yea dumb *** who said i was trying to b cool?!? fkn retards now a days!!
nothingtodisplay 7
weed and A7X sounds like a party!!
OMG_N3RD 0
73 why do you care what music they listen to??
ihasbrains 10
A7X has a few good songs, the rest make them sound like crying babies. It's really ******* terrible. But yes, it's just a preference. But really...what the **** was with that music video where he releases white doves?
slushpup9696 12
129 owns.
Ale8900 3
...what now:)
cross3 3
191 nice lol
Scarshadow101 6
Is there actually an argument going on here about freaking music? Doesn't anyone have anything better to do in their own time? And how about respecting other's feelings? Or were you raised in a freaking cave? Just because you don't like some random type of music, doesn't mean that suddenly the world should hate it.
AshlyNicole 0
ahahahahahaha omg FYL op but that's so funny!!
FMLoverAgain 7
hahahahaha hell yeah
sarapsosis 1
hahahahaha yeah
mintcar 10
YDI for smelly breath. Although, he could've been a lot nicer about it.
mintcar 10
having a* Wow, all-nighter fail. I can't even out together a proper sentence and I have exam in 4 hours. FML.
mintcar 10
Put*** AHH!
liloneex3 0
have an* exam in 4 hours.
mintcar 10
No, I am almost positive I wrote "an. " ****?/&/(/(/KahsgsjasosshsgsHafahssj I fail now and I'll fail this Physics exam.
WOGBRO 6
Why are most of the replys from u.
VorpikeII 17
no pendatik from MINTCAR
mintcar 10
Tired and confusrd.
TinyDude 10
welcome back mint lolls
RedPillSucks 33
Hey mintcar. Drat. Now I've got to rotate to look at your profile pics again... :-( Good luck on your exam.
mintcar 10
Leave it to Pendatik to make me look bad. :) Thanks RPS. I don't think I did well though. :/ Thanks also Tiny Dude.
Juliaa15 6
Tic tacs? Toothbrush? Mouthwash? Hmmm. Oh well. A for effort, amiright?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
No.
babyjm 0
snap!
mismonroe 0
YDI, halitosis breath.
matt1990 0
ydi. your breath smells like poop. not his fault. would u wanna smell his breath if it smelled like poop? doubt it.
IceCweaaam 0
she wouldn't want to but I doubt she would tell him that way while he is saying sweet stuff to her :/
KyannPeppa 0
haha comedy
Creedlord 0
reply to him " No. but I think that someone farted in ur nose"
Lopee069 4
Fail insult
ShadyFTW1 0
It really is.
BAMF18 0
deeahrrrp. herp
Nashie 0
Well was that comeback meant to be funny? Because it wasn't.
haleykerr 0
haha I thought it was pretty funny :)
joe_says_so 0
hahaha your an idiot.
klonopin_ftw 0
you all fell for it.
Nashie 0
LOL I love how people fail like #116 did :D