Mr Tyler, TX, USA 41 years-old Single
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML
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