Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my dad came up into my room and told me that as a consequence of breaking my MacBook in anger, he’s punishing me by helping him with yardwork every single hour of the day. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
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Top comments
poemqueen 15
You shouldn't have salted his coffee then!
RensM 22
1st off Coffee is Holy you never mess with it so you definitely deserved it/ 2nd I like your dad's creativity, you got to respect the effort he put into that one
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Comments (158)
poemqueen 15
You shouldn't have salted his coffee then!
instnt1nfction 17
She should have salted his eyes
poemqueen 15
How does that make sense?!
bravesfan112233 0
April fools
urdirtyolduncle 15
Salted or not, coffee is gross either way.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Seriously. You don't **** with someone's coffee, bro. That's low.
enonymous 9
You'll find the small Ikea wrench in the salt shaker. Get to work
JenDanielle917 13
Your salty now.
zolziski 11
Have* "Some people have* anger issues." Anyway, in my opinion, OP was asking for it. It's one thing to play a little prank, but when it's the morning cup of coffee you're messing with... Well, you deserve what's coming your way. OP should know their dad well enough to know the extreme consequences they may face.
Sierz 0
My dad would kill me if I touched his coffee. And my mom.... -shudders-
white16sox 19
56 they were correct. They said "God, someone has anger issues." Actually READ the post next time?
Neorecon19 18
Your right. She should have put antifreeze in it.
zolziski 11
Lol! Yeah, I saw I'd misread the comment, but I was too late to edit it. Serves me right too. I almost never correct anyone and usually get annoyed when others do it, so that was definitely well-deserved. Oh well.
celtics734 2
be more wrong. if you prank someone, expect to get pranked back. looks to me like the dad simply won the prank wat
tjv3 10
well that serves you right
hinchkongfang 0
Don't salt peoples coffee!! Do that, and expect some shit back!!!
ckr911 5
Well, DON'T MESS WITH HIS COFFEE!
wakadalhadaf 4
Don't mess with a black mans coffee!!!!!
hilary56 0
Seriously dude, your fault for igniting the fire man
TwitchingNebula 17
Thumbs down, 67, for comment riding.
ProhibitionRose 14
I'ma thumb it up just for you thumbing down
EvilPotato 15
76 and I'm thumbing you down for...oh wait.
ea49610 0
Dam what did u do?? Dump a whole gallon of salt into his cup??
ckr911 5
How old are you to not know how to spell "damn"?
daybowbow 0
I'm more concerned about the sorcery this person is using to be able to fit a gallon into a cup
greatness101 0
Salt would dissolve, therefore able to fit an entire gallon in it.
yamatelle 19
52- It will come to a point where the coffee will become so saturated that the salt will not be able to dissolve anymore.
jweezy89 4
Ok people, time for a lesson in units of measurement. A gallon is the larger than a cup. It does not matter that the salt disolves, because adding the salt would still increase the volume. Assuming that the cup was full of coffee, there is no way in the physical world we occupy that a gallon of anything will fit into the cup. Unless said "cup" was not the standard eight ounce cup, and happened to be atleast a gallon sized "cup". Just for ***** and giggles, who is measuring salt in gallons anyway?
ohcrapitscurtis 8
Pretty sure salt is measured in weight not volume anyway.
austinkiser 3
Oh crap!! It's Curtis the dumbass
HideouslyHuman 10
Greatness101(guy that got thumbed down-SOLUBILITY!
TheOptimist 0
Hmm, well anyway, that's how the religious spell damn. So technically it is proper spelling, he was just referring to the thing beavers/humans make, not the action word ( I think it's an action).
RensM 22
1st off Coffee is Holy you never mess with it so you definitely deserved it/ 2nd I like your dad's creativity, you got to respect the effort he put into that one
every1luvsboners 11
True fact: You're an idiot. Coffee isn't and never has been considered a drug, it's called caffeine, smart guy.
alexchiltonLC 7
It's a drug
gotaphd 6
Its a drug
marmlr339 14
Coffee contains caffeine, which is a drug. A mild stimulant. Caffeine is number 1 used. Dunno about being the best though!
btnhdude 0
Mmat Damon! My name is Mat Damon!
kemando 22
Couldn't live without my Coke!... Referring to Coca-Cola.
my2centsworth 15
Caffeine is my drug of choice. Coffee is my delivery method of choice. That is all.
Nutty4Muffs 3
My name... is Jason Bourne.
every1luvsboners 11
You people are morons. Anyone ever heard of decaffeinated coffee? Caffeine is a drug, coffee is not. The retardation on this website never ceases to amaze me.
dales_mommy 0
your dad sounds awesome
bjr1208 3
Sounds like IKEA
The_Instigator 11
You don't salt a mans coffee... EVER!
Ann23 7
I bet you won't do that again now. Well played on your dads part!
Decapitation 3
You salted...HIS COFFEE!!!!!!!! YDI!!!!!!!
exleonhart 0
Your eyes look tiny on your face. :D
Decapitation 3
Combination of being Asian and having a big head!
onorexveritas 24
never mess with a man or womans coffee, owned bish!
jweezy89 4
So it's ok to mess with a hermaphadite's coffee? Ok, good to know.
Lizzy500 16
Never mess with a man's and/or woman's coffee. Happy now?
wtfcammelcheese 0
Now people on the interwebs r being politically correct wat has the world come to :D