Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
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Comments (204)
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
MsTs1 0
omg im first, omg omg omg im gonna faint
22jrdn55 15
you're 68 so FAIL!!!
wow18 3
haha that is hilarious
triplefmylife 0
I agree....there's nothing sexy about this at all.
WTFLMFAO 0
You SucK!
JustSoLost 8
LMAO! I found this funny, too bad for you though. I hope he didn't leave a bruise. ´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨`•°αυ∂яιиα°•´¨`»♥ .¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.
beelzebub777 0
you're boyfriend slaps? He's either french or thought it was his own supressed ****-sexuality jumping out at him.
LordKoin772 0
LMFAO!! #156, I love that comment XD
jess_00 0
...Well it does say from France...
sexymessy 0
Agreed #156. He slapped you?? LOL. Well the only good thing about that is he didn't punch you. But FYL for having a sissy bf. Just kidding 8 )
lenasaur 0
nah, i think it would have been more sissy if he cowered and wet his pants, but thats just me.
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
fmlfmlfml15 0
I automatically thought of Shakira's song, she wolf "There's a she wolf in your closet, let it out so it can breath" .....or in this case so it can pounce on you
xoerica9 0
#124 - LMFAO!!
lizzzie_fml 0
So don't hide in the closet. YDI
Silveroreo 5
LOL!!!
Intoxicunt 6
"Boyfriends"? Lyrics guy, this one is easy. Where are you?
22jrdn55 15
ipwnallmen 10
lolololol thats adorable.
Abby97 0
Oops! I did that to a guy telling a joke which involved putting his hands really fast close to my head. :| He must be embarrassed, go hug him or something. :) At least it wasn't his mom or something, that's what I thought it would be when I started reading. And how would it be sexy? Funny, yes, sexy, no.
sorrowevicteon 9
Depends on the guy... I'd enjoy it...
the_stereotype 0
at least it wasn't his mother or something doing the laundry. that would have been awful.
untalented1 0
at least it wasn't his mum or any of his family members that walked in you instead. that could've been worse. but ydi. he would've slapped you if you'd pounced on him, if not before - which he did.
Intoxicunt 6
"Walked in you"... Lol. Funny typo.
feminist19 0
your boyfriend slaps someone who attacks him, what a bitch
WTFLMFAO 0
Never under estimate the power of the back hand. btw ydi
rosierosierosie 0
*slow clap*