Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nolaneldridge 1
"get ready to feel the thunda!!!"
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Is he?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
FatimaControl 0
At least he didn't say THUNDER CATS HO!!!
RedPillSucks 33
and then you screamed "I am the pain giver" and kicked him in the nads, right? ..., right?!
jmader 0
maybe you should get a sense of humor cause thats pretty damn funny
Levvy 22
Is he in a metal band by some chance?
SociopathicSmurf 6
You are such a ******* ****. Sex is purely physical, it has nothing to do with love, ask a Doctor. I hope you get destroyed in some violent way, you stupid bitch.
jackeechan 10
If he's the thunder, are you the lightning?
suckmysarcasm 10
thunder? doesnt he mean static shock?
Kiirst_mt1994 26
This is actually hilarious, I don't see why this is a fml, if my boyfriend did this i'd laugh. Lighten up! :)
jcortez91 8
baby make that bootyclap
LittleMagicWolf 7
I feel for you