Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
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Top comments
tweetypie 18
Yea well I haven't had sex....EVER!!!
RadikulRam 16
I haven't had sex for 7years, 253 days, 12hours and 46minutes. But it doesn't bother me.
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Comments (246)
tweetypie 18
Yea well I haven't had sex....EVER!!!
xStaciexLynnx 15
Then it's not depressing to stop having it.
FMLsOhilarious 6
#1 Then you wouldn't understand what OP is feeling.
blaherman 12
I ain't had it in 20 years and I'm just fine honestly people gotta think about other shit before sex.
beddington 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP must be fat.
1221jamw 11
50, #1's only 16. It actually makes me feel better to know all 16 year olds aren't having sex. They're still considered children until 18. Why would you automatically assume she's fat/unattractive?
1221jamw 11
Well I feel stupid, I thought you replied to number 1. Awkward.... Well in that case, maybe she just wants to find a boyfriend first? Maybe she has other stuff to do and isn't going to have sex with a random guy at a club? You ever hear of a stable relationship?
RadikulRam 16
I haven't had sex for 7years, 253 days, 12hours and 46minutes. But it doesn't bother me.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Op's friend must be a **** is she's freaking out about two weeks.
Chingy892987 14
Weird that you would count the exact amount of time since you've have sex
zombicidal 11
most 16 year olds are not virgins by choice (checks profile age *forever alone*)
rummzy 6
It's all about the seconds man where are the seconds????
ninjacapo 2
I wish i hadnt :p. Dont lose it untill your ready.
Horcruxer 0
I've gone without it for about 14 hours I'm ready for more
bargarlm 2
I'm 18 & still waiting for the right person. Don't feel bad fellow FML commenter :)
superguppy19 3
Do so or unless ur comfortable with the person
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
50 - I strongly dislike you. GFY. (Go **** Yourself)
humorizer 14
I haven't had sex in 23 years. You and your friend should quit yer complaining.
screamo_neve 12
Wait as long as you can. First time I had sex me and the guy weren't so smart... So now I'm pregnant at 18. Wait. That's all I can really say...
xShannonxSammyx 7
Yeah, a lot of my friends (my age, 15-16) are all talking about how they're 'women' now that they've had sex. :| Morons.
fruggie12 0
Exactly what I was thinking!
KiddNYC1O 22
You're such a sex machine, 106. *Wolf howl*
SirFmlsAlot 5
LOL playa
shaya41 0
True right
shaya41 0
Why did u comment that
Mf2307 15
i love how you got the precise timing down
kbtoyz69 9
although I strongly disagree with 50 he did say "OP" not "#1" sooooo I have to say 60 YDI
kona314 1
69 - heh. Comment 69
ajserr 3
Lol
Mister_Triangle 21
I haven't had sex in 19.5 years; even then, it doesn't count when it's required to be born
screamo_neve 12
89- you're one to take things literally, aren't you?
legitbias63457 2
Agreed. :)
drlove78843 6
I'm 31 years old, never had sex, my life is good
omgo_fml 0
Right
pancakerocks 1
17 years
superchadley 8
@#69 You know down to the minute? Clearly it doesn't bother you at all... (p.s. "69"...giggety)
superchadley 8
@#37 It must not have been very good 20 years ago...
superchadley 8
@#230 You're a virgin? Then you have zero authority to speak on the subject. You can't possibly understand what it's like to go without it if you've never had it. That's like being an authority on light when you have never witnessed the dark.
Haaskyle 2
I'm almost 20 and am waiting until I am married, not all people's lives revolve around sex!
IdaE 17
69- i can see that....
Buttsexpirate 9
Friends with benefits situation?
Teehee2 0
get her done. ;D
Zareen 0
Don't waste yourself on some random person! Wait until you find ur special guy ;) or try with each other ;D
shrekus 0
Friends with benefits never works out right... I would know.
TwitchingNebula 17
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
I wonder how dogs feel, my dog hasn't done it in 11 years... not even doggy style!
maximilian13 4
Have sex with each other?
imcutefml 0
Pix or it didnt happen^
1221jamw 11
27-These are two women, and you state you like "hotdogs over tacos If we know what you mean." so why would you even say that?
Blueglasscup 18
Probably because he thought it would be funny and didnt actually mean it? 4, you took the words right out of my mouth.
NanillaVipples 2
62-What do 4's food preferences have to do with anything? *sarcasm (just in case)
NanillaVipples 2
Damnit he was talking to 27?!? I feel ashamed of my own ignorance -_-
blackstar994 5
62- don't make fun of people's sexuality. My friend died because people made fun of him for being gay. Ass holes like you need to go kill your selfs.
aaron21a 0
174- that's a little harsh I believe
Sam_Dchi 23
So I'm not the only one :D but seriously it sucks!!
Discombobulated9 12
Better to wait for someone special than to put yourself out to random assholes...right?
21jason 9
Nooo to random dicks
Epikouros 32
Hey, I'm a random asshole and I resent that remark. We have feelings, too, you know.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'm saving myself for the right girl - When I'm 18. No need to jump on the bandwagon of other teens who've humped like rabbits.
RadikulRam 16
Cry, your picture will resemble your actual face when you're doing it for the first time.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Lol I'm 66 list of ppl he hates xD
ikickgingers 15
Love is for suckers and old people... ;) I'm am in no way saying jump on any dick that comes your way... Life is not a storybook romance, love doesn't just happen over night and life doesn't wait. You can meet some great people and have awesome relationships without the "L" word and if love comes from it good for you.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Lol 70 - Challenge Accepted. I will do my best!
blackstar994 5
78 obviously hasn't been in love. Love can happen over night. It can happen in a blink of an eye, or it could take forever. Can't control it. But he is right
blackstar994 5
It just happens. But I can agree not to waste your life saiid for it. Just meet decent people.
lylotrezor 20
I don't think there's anything wrong with just sex. If people are careful and no one's feelings get hurt, what's the problem? It's just fun.
cooldukenukem 2
I hate it how willing some people are to having sex with strangers. I would never have sex with someone I didn't love.
fluered 4
Three years sounds ******* painful. It must be awful being you.
shaya41 0
Woww
MedKits 9
Definitely trolling, people.
PeeblesWiggins 0
...Or just stupid.
rocker_chick105 31
Its never to late to start!
chinkychick 16
*too
lanitotherescue 1
3 years blows. but two weeks? i dont want to live in this world anymore
ohmandapants 17
Are you saying that two weeks is worse than three years? Or that you can't believe someone is depressed after two weeks? I don't understand.
hellokatie8 5
I assume this is sarcasm ? ..... It's alittle confusing .
lanitotherescue 1
sorry for the confusion lol. 3 years sucks but if someone is depressed that they havent been laid in 2 weeks then thats sad. hence the "i dont want to live in this world" sarcasm.
shannonreneee 11
74, I feel kind of strange that you're eleven and commenting on a FML like this :/
MedKits 9
67- I took it to mean "someone is complaining about no sex in two weeks? That is unbelievably retarded" thus the not wanting to live on this world anymore part.
EmAnRap 2
You two should get it on;)
tayza249 20
Could be worse, I've been without sex for 17 years o.O
IrishJesus 5
You're a kid...so I would HOPE you wouldn't be having until you were at least 16.
mancool124 4
17 years ago you has sex? ive heard of pearents that do that
Swiftly 0
13- *facepalm*
YayFlameWarz 9
13- How in God's name were you the fastest sperm cell?
hellokatie8 5
The sperm was fast , no one said it was smart . :P
Blueglasscup 18
But she's already 17.
ThereRNoWorries 5
People she's obviously saying," It could be worse, you could be a virgin like me."
Mickaylah 0
I think she was being sarcastic, so no need to be all serious about it..
JhunnySuperman 0
I thought it was funny
omgo_fml 0
How could you not have sex for nineteen years your even nineteen yet lol 0.0