Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
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Top comments
fretforyerlatte 0
i guess you're not in much of a position to give her advice then, huh? unless you used to get it on all the time or something.
Arian_fml 0
Why did you lie? And what makes you a sex guru?
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Comments (153)
samiams00 0
First! And ouch.
fretforyerlatte 0
i guess you're not in much of a position to give her advice then, huh? unless you used to get it on all the time or something.
CoonAndFriends 0
"Used to" There's some keywords here. I think she shouldn't give sex advice if she hasn't had sex within the past few months? Agh. I dunno...
shinkdog 0
oh no! you're not a *****!! f your life
Youdumbidiot 0
I agree. you haven't had sex for awhile it's not the ended of the world get on with life you *****
Gltokensp06 0
No worries, not all of us are raging sex bots. I for one....am too bad for you.
wowfmlife 0
That seems like a good thing to me...unless you're married
FBIWarning 0
go out and fix the problem then :P
twilighter_644 0
she came to the pro
Arian_fml 0
Why did you lie? And what makes you a sex guru?
anniebananie 3
#3 and #5, STFU! So if you're in a relationship and have sex with your boyfriend, that makes you a ***** now? Grow up! I seems like the OP is not in a relationship, while her friend is.
Madalena_fml 0
At least you're not a **** who sleeps around . Hahahahah STD's gotta catch 'em all ?! No thanks .
Felendris 0
LOL I see what you did there.