Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tweetypie 18
Yea well I haven't had sex....EVER!!!
RadikulRam 16
I haven't had sex for 7years, 253 days, 12hours and 46minutes. But it doesn't bother me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (246)
ThecomingofTan 9
I haven't had sex ever since I found out that my blow up doll has been fornicating with neighbor. Carl, if you are reading this, **** you for stealing the love of my life. ****.
Mr_S3xypants 2
I'm in the same boat..its all good..I like not having the herps
DriftnuT 0
You're a chick. If you aren't getting any it's all on you. So don't fml over something that you could have prevented.
JackWilshere1997 0
Maybe God is trying to get you ready for a really serious hardcore from someone :P
listo351 1
What's wrong with the men in NSW? Heaps of people up here in QLD that'd help you out!
grog_fml 3
are you hot? call me.
GummiBearss13 0
id rather go to chukee cheese and do some crazy shizz wit my friends than risk da chances of gettin positive if u know wat I mean #enjoyinglifeasmuchasican
5t3ff1k4h 47
#thosedontworkhere
penguinazul 13
WTF is a muchasian?
Fishfanatic 7
I know the feeling OP. I went for 7 years before I met by current boyfriend ( I also own no sex toys of any sort ) . But trust me, when you break that dry spell it's wonderful.
matthew24997 0
You have a sucky life, just get one nighters
MineIsBigger 5
I can definitely relate. I haven't had sex in two days!