Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
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Top comments
tweetypie 18
Yea well I haven't had sex....EVER!!!
RadikulRam 16
I haven't had sex for 7years, 253 days, 12hours and 46minutes. But it doesn't bother me.
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Comments (246)
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Well, I've never had sex. So you sound more lucky than me. People can live without sex. Don't believe me? Well.. Ever heard of the word "nun"?
screamo_neve 12
As soon as I told myself I was going to be a nun for the rest of my life, I became pregnant. Ironic?? I think so...
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Well then, anythings possible! A job should never interfere with new life :)
JhunnySuperman 0
But a new life can change because of a new job! And I want a cookie
Souperflip 2
Sex is a drug. If you aren't having any, then you have zero authority on how the withdrawl affects feel.
carlosantana0219 2
True
Roly1990 2
Lol buaaaaa jajajaja
Jenmic 16
I take it her friend would contemplate suicide if she went 3 years.
Jenmic 16
In all seriousness I am also guessing her friend is in a relationship. For most single people going 2 weeks without sex isn't a big deal.
that1skaterxX 0
I'm still a virgin......
screamo_neve 12
Stay that way as long as you can...
chels1994 11
Hey, I haven't had sex in 17 years
JhunnySuperman 0
To bad that joke was already made;)
Jawzx01 7
Enjoy each other!
kimberlysoileau 6
50 is a ******* dick!
Larion1 13
3 years seems like systematic problem