Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
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Top comments
Darkon 0
Booby trapped?
FPsLife 5
And then she had her way with you?
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Comments (32)
Darkon 0
Booby trapped?
willowpuff 0
HAHAHA GENIUS. "booby trapped" hahahhahaha
Say_hi 0
LOL. Made me laugh. :P Booby Trapped. Lol.
BurnDammit 0
XD hahahah I agree.Genious xD
famesetmatch1234 0
* genius
Nightwing98 22
Hahahahaha well done
TheUnthinkable 0
woowwwww that sucks big time!... or it doesn't suck, considering you passed out?
TheUnthinkable 0
; D
FPsLife 5
And then she had her way with you?
hecuva 0
Exactly
plexico 4
She probably did a bunch of online shopping with your credit card until you came to!
randomdude1234 0
You mean until you came too!
fmlsoobad 0
5 and 2 hahaha and she probobaly did you wile you were passed out
Skooma 0
MAYB IT WERE TEH BOOBS DAT KNOCKED YEW OUT!!!!!!11
SydneyIsSexie 0
ahahahaha.(:
chewyca99 14
This comment literally lowered my IQ.
katx 0
why was she taking her watch off??
fmlthepornaddict 0
lol ur woos passin out from gettin elbowed,ive had wayyy worse than that and im 13 and i havent passed out xD FYL
Finnboghi 0
Everyone has a different pain tolerance. I've had testicular torsion (look it up at your own peril), which is generally regarded as more painful than childbirth, and got a little light-headed. OP, unfortunately, has a lower tolerance. Regardless, drunk sex is never a good idea. Especially if you get in a fight with her later, because then she can get you convicted of rape. Great system, eh?
medfly 2
I'm sure that people who get pregnant get testicular torsion all the time and can compare the two
HFcinfinity 0
#28 i looked it up and it would hurt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad my balls hurt from thinking about it :( anyway he got booby blocked by alchohal + an elbow
bballgirl135 0
lol she probably had her way with u wen u passes out
BeeSkwaird 0
I don't think you know what "because" means.
car6435 0
you were messing around and she did not know it involved removing her bra? fyl
hello2009 0
why would she need to take her watch off? lol
plexico 4
Because men are afraid that the women may be timing the sex! Given the manliness of the OP, her watch probably had a stopwatch that could measure to the hundredth for a second. This is one event where you don't want to be Usain Bolt (and especially not Tyson Gay;) )
LewJH 0
HAHA