Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
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Top comments
tweetypie 18
Yea well I haven't had sex....EVER!!!
RadikulRam 16
I haven't had sex for 7years, 253 days, 12hours and 46minutes. But it doesn't bother me.
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Comments (246)
RayRay629 0
So why dont you help each other out.
JoeLouisBomber 9
Hey at least you have had sex i havent even seen a girl naked infact im very shy around girls. So dont worry about it your time will come again.
Ash0 6
Don't worry, your boat will be rocked sooner or later. Be patient grasshopper.
mamasait 1
Friendzoned.
perdix 31
Your friend has every right to be depressed. You ought to be resigned to a celibate life, suicidal or in the market for a gigolo.
memob123 0
No..
Jellieblitz 1
Well u can always buy a vibrator... LOL but seriously that sucks op
madz5758 10
Do it with each other then. NBD
squirrel1215 5
I hadn't even had my first kiss 'til I started dating my current boyfriend. (I was 18 when we began dating.) We've been together over 9 months now, and we both know that we are each others' soulmates. Believe me, it's better to wait for that special someone, not just rush into it so you can say you "got laid." I'm sure you'll find someone. Just be patient. :)
ohmandapants 17
You sound a little naive.
penguinazul 13
Watch this one get dumped within the next year or so... (Not to be a Debbie Downer, but for the majority of people, life doesn't work that way.)
AnagenisisZagus 13
Nine months? Follow up after you have been together a year or two, man. That's weak.
squirrel1215 5
I must say that I resent that comment. Believe me, I'm not naive. I went through a lot of crap with men before meeting my boyfriend. I do realize that my comment sounded a bit rainbows and unicorns, though. My point was that you don't look for sex first and foremost in a relationship.
screamo_neve 12
^ wish you had've taught me that sooner.
carlosantana0219 2
Are you Mormon?
carlosantana0219 2
"are you Mormon?" was meant for #197 cause who else gets married in two months lol
Shane_707 0
She's asking for it.
teejayy816 0
Whats her num?
mmurry78 4
creep