Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
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Top comments
jkozzy 8
If his boss ever calls, say the same thing. ;)
Welshite 40
If you are a regular here, you ought to know better. I thought it was standard for FMLers everywhere to take their phones with them into the bathroom.
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Comments (120)
ChubbyNicki 6
If she gets grossed out by that, she's just not the one. :) ******** is natural op, she can't say she's never been stuck on the toilet before.
I3eefChowFun 7
There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody *****. If you don't, then you're full of shit, both literally and figuratively.
PhishloverA 14
Yeah that's why I always take my phone into the bathroom with me. Well not really but I still do anyway
the_true_batman 10
At least she knows that you're not using your phone while ********. It's better to leave it than use it with potentially unclean hands. You sound like a catch, everyone seems to be mixing ******** and phone use nowadays.
Arcangel196 0
Noisy parents lmfao
Welshite 40
I know! Mine never shut up. Eventually I got so sick of their blabbering that I used duct tape and some rope and stowed them under the cellar stairs. That was months ago, and I haven't heard a peep since.
ObeyStudKing 4
Your Dad is an awesome man. Don't start bitching because he spoke the truth.
gader 3
Agree :-)
CeltHound 14
Move out.....now!
Dcm210 19
always take your phone with no matter what.
BrownBear720 0
That's one shitty situation..
soundwave1221 0
That sucks