Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, apparently my parents called 911 because I wasn't answering their phone calls, so they thought something was wrong. I was in the bathroom and didn't bring my phone, so I wouldn't distract myself and ended up sitting there forever. Looks like that wasn't the right choice. FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
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Top comments
Victoria16_fml 0
I guess your shit outta luck
music_woman1 11
The worst time for that to happen
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Comments (75)
music_woman1 11
The worst time for that to happen
GovernorGeneral 8
You couldnt take the phone to the washroom? xD 'oh hello boss. I was wa--plop--iting for your ca--plop plop sploosh--ll all day. '
WCARlover 35
15 that description was amazing
sammyf89 13
Murphies law.
kyarush 10
Lol ahhh that's the worst! Id just wipe real quick and bail to the phone! Finish your duty while on the phone
kballa21 2
This fml is a repeat...
GovernorGeneral 8
So is your face multiplied by 7. :|
GovernorGeneral 8
But you dont see me telling you your face is a repeat....
Pentium_4 27
21 - yeah murphy is always at work. must be the busiest ************ ever
bamagrl410 31
44 - No kidding. Has the ability to **** up billions of things across the world all at once. -__-
Renesaga 8
Upon reading this, I thought of that YouTube video of that woman constantly saying "Sittin' on a toilet!"
dethbunny 0
Me too! :D
GovernorGeneral 8
uh sorry my #40 reply was to a comment that got deleted...
Jakesterk96 8
Hey, at least you didn't shit your..... *sees username* oh shit.
WCARlover 35
You couldn't just call back?
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Well yea.. But OP still missed the call due to inconvenient circumstances.
WCARlover 35
I know but idk, was it that big of a deal to wait until after the poop to call back? Or for some reason was OP not allowed to call that person or something. I'm just confused :p
CheckItOutItsYou 7
OP is just venting, She probably waited really close to the phone for 8 hours and when she had to go to the bathroom BAMM the phone rings while she's helplessly wiping her ass. FHL
WCARlover 35
Yeah probably :p
bamagrl410 31
Also, if the person calling is in the military or participating in something that allows minimal personal time, OP may not be able to call back.
anelelabel 6
It could have been a call about a job interview or something like that. In those circumstances, you can't really call back later I guess :/
charlieohcharlie 12
Some private organisations hide their numbers; in that case you simply can't call back.
Victoria16_fml 0
I guess your shit outta luck
CareFace 16
Hahahahaha classic! I'm guessing it's an Aussie term, cause no one else seems to like that joke besides us :D
Climaxx 11
How do you know Victoria's an Aussie?
Zmeilerr 22
And I guess YOU'RE not very good at spelling.
airforce987 20
Definitely not an Aussie term. I use it here in America all the time.
meggy590 6
We use it in Canada too :)
markrs 0
Shouldve said: "You shitted out luck"
CareFace 16
Then why the hell did the comment have -9 at one point...? -_- Amateur thumb-ers...
my3rdgenipodtouc 0
Shit happens.
GovernorGeneral 8
Theres always one whos brave enough to say a joke thats been overused. Always...
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Cool story bro
kyarush 10
"Cool story bro?"... People still say that?
death_dolphin24 0
I used to say "cool story bro" till I took an arrow to the knee.
GoW_Chick 15
That awkward moment when you realize someone has already overused all your jokes ...
zombiegold 23
I used to make stupid comments like 28, but then I lost my virginity.
zombiegold 23
Sorry I meant 35.
Colonel_Lexi 18
@35 "I'M SICK OF THESE MUTHA ******* ARROWS, IN THESE MUTHA ******* KNEES" -Samuel L. Jackson-
high_tower87 9
Cell phone. Invest in one.
boofgall 16
Well thought-out comment, invest in one.
LookOnBrightSide 12
I'm not sure that would help. OP did not specify whether she was using a home phone or a cell phone. If she had been using her cell phone, there may be sanitary reasons involved in not using while you are going to the bathroom.
mobat 1
I guess you were in a SHITTY situation! Hardy har har! I need to go out more.
BlueHue 0
Or stay in and get better puns ;)
construction 7
Going out is healthier ... At times
kickuwithmyfist 1
Lol shit happens!
YaboyVinnie 21
If it was that important, I'd go that far as to bring the phone with me to the toilet.
HearMeComin 0
Lmfao your a genius :D
Sl1mShad3y 10
What if OP has one of those old ahh corded phones?
FirstTigerHobbes 13
I swear people wait until you're busy to call you!
fattylumptard 1
Well it is a good thing phones are cordless these days so you could answer