Today, I asked my wife for a threesome to spice up our sex life. Her exact response to me was, “The only threesome we should be having is between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.” I'll take that as a “No.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my fiancée asked for a threesome. I don't want it. I think I'm now single. FML
Today, I asked my husband what he'd think of a threesome. He said, "The fun wouldn't be worth the stress, it's a drama bomb waiting to happen." What a bore. FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing asked me to have a threesome. With his girlfriend. FML
Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML
Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML
Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about possibly having a threesome. In his words, choosing a woman would be "a fun new experience for us to enjoy together." But choosing a man would be "forcing me to watch you cheat, and pretend that I'm okay with it." FML
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Top comments
kitten79TX 5
You know your wife. You can't tell me a strong "No" was a surprise.
slhiggx 17
There are many other ways of spicing up your love life, and marriage, besides a threesome. Which really just sounds like a cry to have sex with someone else. And from your wife’s response, that doesn’t seem like something you two have ever discussed. Maybe have a proper discussion on how both are feeling about the love life, etc, you two share.
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Comments (7)
kitten79TX 5
You know your wife. You can't tell me a strong "No" was a surprise.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Technically a fivesome if both of you are with the three of them. Enjoy your ménage à God.
RichardPencil 32
Or she's suggesting you go trolling for your third at church? Just trying to stay optimistic for you.
Marcella1016 32
Why’d I read optimistic as satanistic lol
Marcella1016 32
Why’d I read optimistic as satanistic lol
Plop 17
That sounds like a very gay and incestual 3some...
titaniumedge 8
she only wants to do that if it involves her father, her son and lots of blessed booze?
slhiggx 17
There are many other ways of spicing up your love life, and marriage, besides a threesome. Which really just sounds like a cry to have sex with someone else. And from your wife’s response, that doesn’t seem like something you two have ever discussed. Maybe have a proper discussion on how both are feeling about the love life, etc, you two share.
benjamn 24
If she shows up with a dude are you going to go for it? YDI