Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jkozzy 8
If his boss ever calls, say the same thing. ;)
Welshite 40
If you are a regular here, you ought to know better. I thought it was standard for FMLers everywhere to take their phones with them into the bathroom.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
IAmJad 18
It's not like she's going to think, "gross he poops?" Don't worry about it.
rattusrattus 19
DEAR GOD, MEN POOP? DO THEY ALSO PEE? EWW! THIS IS A FOUL AND DISGUSTING REVELATION! [/sarcasm]
Ozuru 11
26, nice try at sarcasm, but you overdid it.
marlboro_man93 0
YDI
TheFamilyElf 17
Meh, everybody poops. I'd call you back later. In fact, I'd probably joke about it with you later. Don't worry op; surprisingly enough, she poops too.
TheTallPerson 3
Never trust dads to make that kinda stuff more easy on you.
KVKdragon 26
This is why I always silence my phone at home unless I'm close to my phone. Some parents (like mine) have no respect for privacy when it comes to technology
bow125 7
Let this be a lesson to always take your phone into the bathroom. Not only does it prevent this situation from ever happening, but phones provide the perfect distraction while taking those seemingly endless *****.
PowerRussia 2
Damn bro that sucks! That's why you should have your phone on you at all time!
_krystallynn_ 11
your dads really immature. seriously? he shouldn't be pulling shit like that. he shouldn't be touching your phone.
oheyyou 2
Really? This is the worst comment on here. Op lives with his dad. What if his dad is the one who bought and continues to pay for his phone? You shouldn't disrespect the person that provides for you. On top of that, you're like 15; you shouldn't be cussing like that. It isn't very lady-like.
_krystallynn_ 11
soo? your point? im 15 , have a job and pay for my own phone. sorry for offending your pathetic 'virgin ears'. since you apparently stalked my profile, im guessing you read the description. i tend to offend people, you dont like it, to ****** bad. are you saying because im a girl i shouldnt swear? what if i was a guy? sexist bastard.
_krystallynn_ 11
soo?
_krystallynn_ 11
i am a 15 year old girl. and I'm more of a tomboy than a lady. so being 'ladylike' isn't one of my priorities. oh, and just because I'm a 15 year old girl, does not mean i cant say what i want on a website. sorry for offending your 'virgin ears' loser. and if i was a guy are you saying its more okay? sexist bastard. and that was incredibly rude of his dad to do that. he should not be 'taking calls' for his son. he isn't a secretary. And i have a job, and pay my phone bill. So this kid might be just like me.
Enslaved 38
Just call her back, say you were in the shower and that your father must have been mistaken. Or let her know the truth. It's up to you what you want her to know.(:
martin_martian7 11
Wow your dad is shit! -__-