Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Drunk mothers say the darndest things :p but that was really immature of him to hang up without letting you explain yourself
CinderellaC 4
I would have just laughed if I were him.
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Comments (101)
YourAFailmod 4
It's motherly love!(:
shayshayshazam 14
So true. My mom does this sort of thing soberly.
onlychildFTW 34
Well going into the bathroom seems like an odd choice really. Drunk people need those quite frequently. But FYL OP. gotta love those drunk Momas. Haha.
faithxoxox 1
EShe might share her bedroom, not have a door, the door may not close or lock...personally, I go in the basement for privacy. (My bedroom door neither closes nor locks.)
comedybreak 20
You can't troll a proll.
comedybreak 20
Idk how this FML. Had anything to do with trolling but I wanted to use that pun (: heh.
WCARlover 35
Wtf is a proll?
Angitia 8
15, I have as much as an idea as you do.
auzz1_pride 9
15) a pro troller maybe?
comedybreak 20
Hence the word "pun." Do you know the definition of pun? A play on words? If you take out the t and put a p it puts the words "troll" and "pro" together. Also it has the letter p for parent, so I was hoping someone would catch that, but apparently not ????
unknown_user5566 27
25- That... was a stretch.
DontModMeDammit 10
25 like your username you should take a break from comedy.
PlaySpades 21
Puns are supposed to use words with two or more meanings. Considering proll doesn't really even have one meaning.... not a pun, not funny.
Suchagoonnn 4
This thread is more unnecessary than this comment
natas_fml 13
It would probably make sense to Dr. Steve Brule.
2DMax 11
Actually, puns are supposed to have words that combine two words into one (ex. Punny). Words with 2 meanings where both are applicable is called a double entendre
PlaySpades 21
87- Actually, no. I don't know where you heard that but that's wrong. If you don't believe me, just google it.
PlaySpades 21
Qualification: what you said about the double entendre isn't wrong, but what you said about the pun is.
DontModMeDammit 10
Thought a pun was just a play on words.
buckstop1 37
*sigh* this thread has completed ruined puns for me. You all made this much more complex than it needed to be
CinderellaC 4
I would have just laughed if I were him.
AugustBurnsToast 14
It would've been funny if she tried to redeem herself by saying, 'I swear I wasn't dropping some of our future kids off at the pool!'
imseksie 0
Yeah me too! What a douche
WCARlover 35
Drunk mothers say the darndest things :p but that was really immature of him to hang up without letting you explain yourself
boofgall 16
Phoning back and explaining how she's drunk should fix everything, hopefully OP's boyfriend is reasonable.
krewer21 1
Personally, I have an aversion to speaking to anyone while they are in the bathroom. It's never been for privacy... Once I hear that particular echo most bathrooms have, I become repulsed. Once I hear toilet activity, disconnect! That's just gross and disrespectful.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's what I don't understand. Why did her boyfriend immediately hang up? Why didn't he just let her explain? So many questions... D:
22cute 17
Her boyfriend was probably just saving her embarrassment. He had already listened to the alcoholic Mom's ravings long enough to know it wasn't a good time for OP to talk.
Soloman212 28
It's just her crush, do I doubt he has listened to her mom rage very often. (Might be assuming here.)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Oh, I didn't realize it wasn't her boyfriend. My mistake.
egc573 40
If only this and the cat-stroking FML were shown on Mother's Day...would have made for a great theme.
Lizza330 28
Am I the only one who can't be on the phone and in the bathroom at the same time? And sorry about your mom.
retyi43 14
you're not the only one. I think it's very odd and slightly disgusting
yahoowizard 16
I'd think the echo in the bathroom would be weird enough
DjeePee 25
Slightly disgusting? Ffs, what's wrong with a bathroom? I would even dare to say: what's wrong with a toilet? As long as you don't hear the other one ******** around, who cares? Well, you, probably.
flea_of_death 23
Lol, its common courtesy to not use the bathroom on the phone, at least the way I was raised XD unless you got someone desperate on the phone and they keep you on there for twelve hours O.o (true story)
unfortunate_13 5
Are you the female version of Howard from TBBT?
BulldogHoops 14
HOOOWWAAAHHHDD?!
felisaa 5
Why not your bedroom?..
Iamnotyourmom 0
Maybe she doesn't have her own room..
ABCzz 4
Maybe no lock on the door either.
yeti0718 8
I think talking in your bedroom is the better choice, but that's just me.
emeraldisle 30
Why not go in your room? Edit: the same comment 3 times in a row. Fail.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Nothing to do with comment, But that kitten in your picture is overly adorable!:) I love it.
emeraldisle 30
I completely agree. Thanks! :]
emuexport 4
What, shit in your room ????? Ewwww