Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jkozzy 8
If his boss ever calls, say the same thing. ;)
Welshite 40
If you are a regular here, you ought to know better. I thought it was standard for FMLers everywhere to take their phones with them into the bathroom.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
perfectbride14 7
Even my husband never answers my cell. It's different with a landline phone, but cell is private, unless the person who it belongs to asks you to answer it for him/her.
JDM_Rivas 0
Wouldn't have been a good idea to answer the phone on the toilet, anyways lol..
sheldencn 5
a deep impression
CirocBoi7785 2
Your dad is a douche.. hahaha
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
I'm sure she'll just laugh it off lol
gatorade3 0
Just call her back and say "at least I'm healthy". if she doesn't accept it, call her a hypocritical cow. you deserve better, OP
kyat288 9
Shitty parent...
alycion 39
It's girls will see through the showering thing for what it is, a way to save face. Best thing to do is just call her back and say you got her message that she called and ignore mentioning your father's comment, whether it is a lie to cover it up or otherwise. Just move on. It's only an embarrassing situation if you make it one by bringing attention to it again.
IYagura06 2
just say your dad was kidding you were doing yard work or something.
Philerup31 12
Troll dad strikes again!!!