Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
djqlue 0
FIRST! HAHAHAH
ChocoAmethyst 0
u shud hav made up an excuse like "wel i thought u were important enough to keep talking too while i was doin my business!"
rooooooooar 0
Why would you even try that? YDI.
pingpongpickle 8
well who is it??! your boyfriend, dad, ?
tuxedoandex 28
I know, right? I'd rather just sit there and shit in my pants while still talking.
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
hellokittywhore 0
same for me, but it depends on who the person is. lol
ayumi_fml 0
YDI ;P
liinkinparkfan97 34
Right, OP totally deserved it because they had to go to the bathroom.
lpaul49 0
I'm assuming you meant to say boyfriend, but just neglected to say that in the post... Also, that's really sketchy. You couldn't have just told him you have to use the bathroom like a normal person would do?
lucy331 0
sketchy.... phhsssshaaaawww!!! this fml is ******* hilarious!!!! don't be such negative downer
kwbuzz23wk 0
i am assuming you are a girl. let the woman power begin...
wbrycem 0
Apparently being on the toilet performing a perfectly normal bodily function is gross? Damnit
xaqori 0
I don't get it. How is this "ew"? Everyone goes to the bathroom...
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
SweetThang 0
Hahaha..think before you speak....or before you try to pull something like that off. haha
kimaniv 0
How is this an FML? All you have to do is explain what happened. And there's nothing wrong about talking and using the bathroom.