Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
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Top comments
Sonychka 13
You're a big girl. Use your big girl words.
lalalanono 8
It's a sad day when your mom jumps to the worst case scenario.
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Comments (126)
dumboears 8
Why would you just stick up your middle finger without saying anything?
ThisBiatchFMLs 5
ive done it before. when you injure your middle finger you dont tend to think of much else
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
I'm assuming it was because OP was in a lot of pain and couldn't really clear their head to think about how that could possibly look bad to their mother.
Drigr 9
People do strange things when in a lot of pain. i once had 3 fingers shut in my friends van door once and I couldn't go words out all I could do was wimper and point until they realized what happened. Though I think OP's mom was immature and over-reacted.
elidine 0
Typical of a prostie...
THE_A_TEEN 28
What the hell is a "prostie"? A prostitute? You sound like my mum.
Drigr 9
Dafuq 69? That doesn't even make sense..
elidine 0
Sure it does... Prosties don't take too kindly to hurtin the dick hand.
lalalanono 8
It's a sad day when your mom jumps to the worst case scenario.
You_Screwed_Up 7
I would as well if someone stuck their finger up at me without saying anything.
Calyx_fml 22
My mom always jumps to the worst case scenario.
Sonychka 13
You're a big girl. Use your big girl words.
herpdeladerp 0
How do we know OP is a girl?
SouthernPride95 19
14 because it says
astoryofroses 9
OP, if you don't use your big girl words, you cannot be entitled to sing "Mama I'm a big girl now" :)
HealingTrout 1
I can just imagine what words would come out of a big girls mouth XP
ajsciri4 0
When you hurt something as simple as your middle finger and can't talk because of it, you need to start working out or something...
ajsciri4 0
I'm not trying that. But not being able to talk...?
simonsaysYDI 8
I don't think you understand pain tolerance. Working out doesn't make smashing your finger feel any less painful. Also, can you recommend some middle finger exercises for us?
Prodigy7 4
5, I don't think it's not being able to talk, it's more of you don't want to talk when in pain. I don't know about anyone else, but the times I recall being in pain, and someone was bugging me about what happened, I just wanted to say '**** off for a sec.'
JonnyGoldsmithXX 0
27 - My advice on middle finger exercises is to go downtown in a bigger city during rush hour traffic while driving in a Prius. Once your training has been completed, I'll honor you with the rank of 'Traffic Finger.'
gracehi 33
Can you please explain how working out makes jammed fingers hurt less?
Pandacupcakelove 26
That comment made no sense at all... A middle finger can hurt just as much as any other bodypart! Just imagine when you bang your little toe into something, hurts like hell! Would it make sense then if somebody told you "It's just a little toe, can't hurt that much." And how the heck would working out help that?
mizuki123 8
I agree with 46.. When I fell full force and body weight on my elbow I didn't want to talk even if I could. Pain can make you not talk trust me.
meetmissmayhem 4
#27 haha thanks for the laugh! 5 you're an idiot come on now. Have you ever slammed your finger in a door? Just because you have a high pain tolerance doesn't mean it's not going to hurt.
PhishloverA 14
Can you explain what working out has to do with Jamming a finger into a drawer, door, hinge, etc?
1awliet 8
Right, and after doing middle finger work outs, move on to the balls so they don't hurt as much when kicked.
bwahahah117 1
24 - your comment actually made me cringe. there are few greater pains than getting your finger pinched by a door hinge :s
cyndiig 2
My sister has gone sent to the hospital because she slammed her finger in a door hinge. She was of course young and ignorant enough to pull on her finger while it was still trapped but nevertheless the cut went almost down to her bone. Imagine that pain.
cyndiig 2
*gotten
JonnyGoldsmithXX 0
*been
Linkerdoodles 15
Just explain? Even if she won't speak to you, she'll hear you.
You_Screwed_Up 7
Wouldn't it make more sense to just tell her?
golfman717 0
You don't think when your in pain...
KiddNYC1O 22
34- you're* Are you in pain?
MrFuzzles 5
Maybe the wound on your finger would attest to the truth?
poppysoda 4
Well we know who's not getting pancakes for breakfast..
zandalee 20
Enjoy the peace.
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
That's just a simple misunderstanding . I'm sure once you explain what had happened and tell her you weren't being rude or disrespectful, you were just showing her your wound but didn't realize it was your middle finger and apologize, she will understand and forgive you. Don't worry, OP :)
cptmorgan6 8
*gasps for air*
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
Lol I'm a girl, we tend to always have a lot to say, gimme a break :)
Llamacod 11
its not that you have "alot to say" its your paragraph long sentence. one should, if reading aloud correctly, pause for breath at the end of sentences
missemixox 9
And why couldn't you just say "I slammed the drawer on my finger"? It would have taken less effort to say it than to raise a finger in pain....
simonsaysYDI 8
Yes, everyone is completely coherent and takes their time to think out what they're saying when they're hurt. I don't know about you but my average 'in pain' sentence only has 1 word that isn't cussing.
RedmontFief 7
Oh my GOSH why is everybody saying the same thing when the FML clearly states that "without thinking" she raised her finger. So, yes! She could have said something! But she didn't so stop asking the same ******* question.