Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jkozzy 8
If his boss ever calls, say the same thing. ;)
Welshite 40
If you are a regular here, you ought to know better. I thought it was standard for FMLers everywhere to take their phones with them into the bathroom.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
biglittlehead 12
Damn that sucks dude. Good luck!
305Miami 0
What a great comment #1. Maybe you shoulda wrote that "Stinks" it would make a nice pun.
Drigr 9
Inb4 shitty puns
SApprentice 34
22- This isn't 4chan, nobody wants to deal with the 'inb4' comments.
MDTeddy 13
It isn't that bad. We are only human. Some people enjoy it. Fetishes all around.
LarryLaDouche 13
This is why I always try to have my phone on me. I understand that you can't ALWAYS have your phone on you, but you'd be surprised that stuff like this doesn't happen when you have your phone.
ColdplaySucks 18
If a girl disregards you just because you were taking care of business at the time she called, then don't bother. But if she has genuine interest in you just call her back and forget about the stupid thing your dad did.
X_Codes 11
I have to agree with 37. It's common knowledge that it's a parent's job to embarrass the hell out of their kids, and if that's the worst that he can come up with then you're lucky.
Futacy 30
It sometimes seems like parents do all of this embarrassing shit on purpose. [Edit]: No pun intended.
TomPusslicker 21
I have to agree with 37 as well. Everybody poops, and almost everyones parents can seem odd. I have stories for another time, but if shes really into you, she will just ignore what she heard and will move past it like a mature person would. If not, well then shes probably not right for you...
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Probably not a good idea to bring up anal just yet...
jkozzy 8
If his boss ever calls, say the same thing. ;)
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
I have had this happen to me and the next day the girl wouldn't talk to me
MURIKKA 11
2- Bad idea. This is what would happen if OP did that: 1. OP gets revenge 2. Dad gets fired 3. Dad can't find job 4. Dad decides that his only option is to start his own emu farm 5. Emus have a mutiny so emu farm fails 6. OP is forced to take care of family 7. OP joins the circus 8. OP is attacked by an angry bear riding a tricycle 9. OP dies. This is serious shit here.
alwayswinning123 7
I like the way you think lol
Futacy 30
68- Fired for taking a shit?
Qandol 26
#2, what if OP's dad is his own boss, Then what?
LO388 7
OP...you were dropping one without your cellphone? But what other time would you be on FML?
WhoSaidThatIsh 13
#68 - You get it!
foshizzle82 7
68 - so creative! I love it!
drewcat21 0
Well that escalated quickly.
afropuffjake 9
I think that's too much only because pops risks losing his job. Then the shit will hit the fan. Both the girl and the boss should understand shit happens and defecating is part of life but people love to act like they're the shit nowadays. Maybe op should do it just so pops knows how it feels when things go to shit like that?
marcranger 29
Crappy father you have there.
bones_17 5
To solve this problem have your phone always on you, and or have a passcode set.
bones_17 5
Or have on vibrate, or don't own a phone, or tell her next time you see her wrong number.
ElricMustang 23
Doesn't matter if he has a password, though. You can still answer calls regardless
NeonPopRocks 14
habibiiiiiii 2
It's like parents try to embarrass their children for their own entertainment!
MsSoulReaper 27
Your dad could have just said you were busy, not say you were taking a shit. That's embarrassing >.< Sorry OP.
bestnameright 14
Yeah it's such a shitty thing to say!
iOceanus 18
Awesome profile pic, #4!
walmartpaysme 15
Everyone poops. Hopefully, she is mature enough to look past your dad's immaturity.
LiyIa_fml 8
You say immaturity, I say complete honesty.
BobbieH 19
While it was true it is extremely crass and classless. It's those facts that make the response immature.
sleepinginclass 8
I do not poop because I am a girl. And girls do not poop.
eggmarie 25
101: there's a book I would like you to read, it will be very enlightening for you. It's called "Everybody Poops". You can find it at your local book store in the child's section.
Artsygirl90 14
Hopefully she won't care. It was explained to me at an early age that "everyone poops."
gatorade009 1
If she really likes you it won't bother her
CreepInTheCorner 11
Maybe she wants to watch though.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Woah... You are totally creeping this corner! That's some messed up fantasy...
JustDerpin 11
That's some kinky shit
CreepInTheCorner 11
Well that's totally what I do in my free time, just sayin. I'm kidding, bro. Jeez -_-
berichsoon 11
Have you heard of a "blumpkin"
Welshite 40
If you are a regular here, you ought to know better. I thought it was standard for FMLers everywhere to take their phones with them into the bathroom.
cabadas11 2
Of course im reading this fml as i poop
Drigr 9
Same, FML = bathroom app
ydi_4_suking 20
Oh crap I thought that it was one of unwritten times of fml. to read fml while taking a shit
zadie 6
So it's not just me!
SApprentice 34
But many of us don't have smart phones. :( We're too poor for such extravagant toys.
outoftown 27
Unless they did earlier, and dropped it in the toilet.
shifted 5
Next time someone laughs in the stall next to me I'll know why...
XxskyelovexX 13
50- I'm not poor and I dob't have a smartphone. I have an old cracked Ipod though
cabadas11 2
Nope its not just you i never go in the shitter without my phone its the modern newspaper
anwhorselover 0
Dude that sucks
GothickNihilist 15
OP I think your dad should apologize . Maybe you could tell the girl that he was joking. I wish you luck with the girl.