Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is: it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales, and sharks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, I learned just how bad jellyfish stings hurt. Multiple times. On my testicles. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
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Top comments
monkeybanana 7
Wouldn't your spouse know that about you?
OAAS 0
Don't worry, OP, you'll have a whale of a time
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Comments (79)
rocketiquette 20
I can get being scared of sharks, and orca whales, but dolphins and other whales??? Are whales gonna plankton you to death? I've heard of dolphins raping humans, which could make sense since they are known to have sex for pleasure, but you'll be in a controlled area more than likely.... People have the strangest ******* fears these days.
annihil8or 15
You'll be fine. Dolphins won't hurt you, they're cool and as long as it's not supershark or sharktopus you're good
supercalyyy 7
Dolphins, whales, and sharks oh my!
Kathts7 12
Dolphins? But.. They're so sweet. Is it because of the one that raped a man?
graphicstyle7 17
I'm kinda wondering why your intended did not know about this phobia and pick something different. Phobias need to be dealt with, no doubt, I've overcome a few of my own... but not on your honeymoon!
redpowder 0
clean your vibrator with his toothbrush
ICastillo 25
Dude what the ****?!?
natalia32710 8
Well if you guys got married, then he should have known everything about you. Your fault.
babe7260 30
We went swimming with the dolphins last year, it was the most amazing experience of my life! They are so beautiful & so gentle as well, the trainers are right next to you.I dont know what all these people are talking about,I've never heard of dolphins being dangerous!!!! They are some of the most brilliant creatures on earth! Read up on them & learn about the fascinating things they are capable of! This should help to ease your fears of them! Good luck, I hope you go thru with it , it will change your life!!!!!
ThisBeAUsername 6
They should have a voting option titled "I don't care."
Mirequetz 6
I've swam with Dolphins, Orcas and Sharks (Hammerheads and Blue). Out of the 3, I enjoyed Sharks the most, surprisingly. It was awesome. There is nothing to be scared of, especially with Dolphins. In my experience, Orcas were the worst.