Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is: it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales, and sharks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, I learned just how bad jellyfish stings hurt. Multiple times. On my testicles. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
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Top comments
monkeybanana 7
Wouldn't your spouse know that about you?
OAAS 0
Don't worry, OP, you'll have a whale of a time
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Comments (79)
nofearjenshere 12
I hope your husband/wife didn't know about this fear before planning it. If they did then you married an asshole.
LaughinStock 16
Jen you didn't read the FML did you? See kids this is why skimming is sometimes bad. :)
nancyschmancy 9
Hmm laughingstock, I think Jen's post is perfectly legit. Or is there some invisible message there that only you can see?
LaughinStock 16
Oh 61 you didn't get the backstage VIP FML app? :-/ LOL yeah sorry I failed on that one :(
STFUGTFO 6
Lucky. Personally I love dolphins. Although they can be dangerous. You'll overcome your fear and you'll end up loving those goofy bastards :) Sharks on the other hand...
jerseyboy732 16
couldve been worse... your husband could have adopted one
GroovyGravy 7
Who would buy a pet whale?
StoryOfTheYear 15
*Slowly raises hand*
beelee1988 13
Dolphin* lol
ohmandapants 17
^ both*.
zachlibby 4
Once you start swimming with them, you'll want to do it again.
I_Punch_Babies 7
its a step by step process of conquering your fears. first swim with the dolphins. then when you reach comfort in that graduate to whales and finally swimming with the sharks. you can do it OP!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Because dolphins are ******* evil. Don't believe me? Watch the Simpsons. They speak the truth! It won't be zombies taking over, it'll be dolphins! And I'll be ready with my tuna scented traps.
rattusrattus 19
Don't bother about the Simpsons, just read the entry in the Encylopedia Britannica. Dolphins may look cute, but they can be quite vicious. ... We're not really helping the OP here, are we...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Nope.
Alex1014 0
You're luck the dolphins are invited to the actual wedding
_Peppermint_ 34
Hopefully the whole trip isnt revolving around just swimming with dolphins. Just have your new bubby hold you, it's a honeymoon, correct?
Snafuusmc 12
Gotta overcome your fears man.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I don't blame you. Dolphins are frightening, especially if you see one do a double-backwards somersault through a hoop whilst whistling The Star Spangled Banner. Then you know you're ******.
catatonicsleep 17
So long and thanks for all the fish :)