Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, after waiting 3 months until my friend's wedding was done being celebrated, I announced my engagement. My newlywed friend bitched me out for "stealing" all of the attention and being selfish. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
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Comments (85)
whatafuckup 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It was a joke! Take it lightly! Laugh it off
OMFGenesis 7
Hopefully it was..
ashalayx 13
doesnt sound like it
jazzy_123 20
something tells me it's no joke...
Anth6ny 9
I bet you're the husband.
laylarose1396 7
|:
whatafuckup 14
Yes, yes I am.
Welshite 40
Reminds me of the idiot who staged his own kidnapping to go out drinking with friends.
wlddog 14
The day before the wedding, the best man and groomsmen knock on his door, the groom answers "Hey guys, your here early......" The gang rushes him and tackles him, forces him to write his own random note, and then they all go to the club and laugh it off, leaving the poor groomsmen blindfolded and bound in the strip club, with a few strippers paid off to tease him and not release him all night and cover him with thick lipstick kisses. Only right before the wedding is he released and dragged to the wedding, his friends laughing the whole way.
TylerBurden 21
Sry but what about, no!
AirborneCleric 12
That would be a terrible best man. His job is to keep the groom safe.
Zebediabolical 45
How about this. He's been kidnapped by the best man and stuffed into a safe until the wedding!
PancakeSlap 23
I guess it's still better than the guy that faked his own kidnapping because he failed his english class.
kjack49044 18
Number 21 that sounds like the first Hangover.
wlddog 14
That is close to what i pictured. Or saving Silverman. Maybe a mix of the two.
amaindayyy46 20
That truly does suck, sorry :/
caohm 18
coward, there's probably nothing where his balls should be.
JMichael 26
He can't just tell you in person that he doesn't want to marry you?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I wouldn't go as far as to say OP's husband doesn't want to marry her. My thoughts are that he's just super nervous, and honestly, who wouldn't be? That's a big moment in anyone's life, but damn do I hate people that pull shit like this last minute. If he truly isn't ready he really should have said something sooner, rather than the day before. Hopefully you can discuss the issue before the whole ceremony is ruined.
SuperMew 22
Even if he was nervous, doing something like that is not really called for. If you are nervous, you talk to the person you are with. If he cannot be honest with her now, what if they have kids? Sorry the kid was kidnapped because I didn't want them to go to kindergarten or sorry kidnapped postpone the baby. Personally, if someone pulled this on me I would not marry them anyways.
Smoxxii 17
It's because he's a coward. He would rather hide from his fiancé rather than tell her how he feels. It would have been much less hurtful for him to tell OP: "Hon/babe/ECT Can we postpone the wedding? I'm a bit nervous." Or something along those lines. I don't actually think he doesn't want to marry OP. He'd have to be a real asshole to leave and not come back, and I think he's just nervous. If that isn't the case, then OP doesn't deserve that scum. Hopefully he came back and had a nice long chat with OP.
Adamm1 6
I think he's trying to tell you something...
ohSNAPyall 27
Evidently he says he's already her husband.
ABarrelHorseGirl 8
I was going to like this but keeping it at 69 was just better.
XSeraphinX 18
You need to have a serious conversation with him.
mn_shr 22
And then please give us the follow up OP
jazzy_123 20
Sounds like he's having second thoughts.
SmittyKick 18
That's actually pretty funny
Zebediabolical 45
Oh those canny kidnappers. Forcing the hostage to write his own note!
strike2867 13
Maybe they did it to prove to her the husband is still alive...
shinymaster3000 23
Who would really kidnap somebody just for you to postpone the wedding?
perdix 31
Main suspect: The OP's dad who, traditionally, be paying for the whole thing. Motive: not paying for the whole thing.
crazytwinsmom 25
Everything is pretty much paid for by the day before.
perdix 31
Not true, they often just have some down payments and deposit money. People can easily postpone wedding debt for a while after the I do's.