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FMyLife
Anonymous United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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vettle 6

don't jump to conclusions. maybe it didn't take.

joceyx3 0

some men end up getting more than one vasectomy because it doesn't work...

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Comments (179)

vettle 6

don't jump to conclusions. maybe it didn't take.

fakeaccountX 6

Where's Maury when you need him?

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

"Dat lyin ass mufuka ain't buy no Pampuhs, ain't pay no child support, un he cheeted wif fi diffrent wumen and yet he's gon call me a cheatin ass hoe? Ain't mo mufukin way." Maury: "When it comes to 3-month-old Shaqueeta., you are NOT the father." *screaming, jumping, threats ensue*

SilenceIsSilver 0

*likes*

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

Apparently, douchebags deleted it...

theian01 3

FAAALLLCONNN PAWNNNCH!

rushiee 0

Sometimes they heal.. but i guess its rarely get a paternity test? no need to freak out so soon unless she really did cheat

aliaskis 3

Maybe there was a spontaneous reconnection of a vas deferens. That is extremely rare though. A vasectomy works 99.85% of the time, hence why it is a permanent form of birth control. If you are checked out by a doctor and found to have your tubes in order, there are definitely things to talk about with your wife.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

maybe some sperm have survived on his dick for 2 years

ColetteL 4

This happened to someone I know. The husband was so pissed. She swore she hadn't cheated. He went to the doctor and had a sperm count done. Sure enough, he had swimmers! LOL. Was hard for her to get over him not believing her from the beginning but I think any guy would react the same way in that situation.

iluvmtrench 0

HOW DARE YOU !!! SHES A NICE LADY ;)

agm2010 0

love that movie!!:D

MrsLender_fml 3

Today, the doctor informed me my vasectomy didn't take. My wife left me for not believing her when she said she didn't cheat. Fml

millionaire93 0

WTF is up with your profile pic 37?

mamamiaaa_fml 12

get preggo too to get back at her like Arnold in that movie where he becomes with child.

berg54 0

Yeah um it's not 99.85% effective.... maybe 70-80%. I know at least 3 guys who have done it and they had to go back and get the snip a second time. The tube can heal fairly easily. So get paternity testing first than deal with what drama will ensue.

mintcar 10

10, you win. Haha.

DocBastard 40

Berg- Your own personal case series has an insufficient N and therefore not enough power to draw your conclusion. The failure rate is, as quoted above, around 1 in 2000. If you have concrete evidence to the contrary, show it. Otherwise, don't go making up statistics.

BritishHobo 0

I don't get why the wife would be upset that the husband didn't believe her. It seems like the obvious conclusion to jump to, if you've had a vasectomy. It's not like he thought there was a high chance of the baby being his, but just didn't trust her. As far as he knew, there was absolutely no chance that baby was his, so it's not really a lack of trust, just removing the imposible and being left with the improbable. Until you read the statistics.

AgeOfAquariusss 7

Hmmm, though vasectomy isn't 100%, it *has* been 2 years since you got it, and they always have procedures after the surgery to check if it was successful... so, highly suspicious. I hope that there's just been some change in your body or smth. and not that she's a cheatin' lying witch.

TheIrishJaneDoe 9

121: Uh, no. It's like asking a woman to get her tubes tied, only a vasectomy is a hell of a lot easier on the body.

ericownz101 0

wtf weeiird, i live in nevada and my mom's bf has a kid that was born after he got a vasectomy.. he got a paternity test and it was his

KoRnLeader 0

do you have balls? didn't think so.

SittingInTheSky 6

Translation... "I AM GAY AND I CAN'T WRITE PROPLY!!"

zykrithium 22

LOL yeah... the vasectomy just "didn't take"...

Btdtgts 23

vasectomies are not 100%

scarlet22ashley 19

Actually 17, about one in every 100 vasectomies does not prevent pregnancy within 5 years of having the vasectomy. Therefore it is most likely (if his wife is loyal as i would believe) that it was simply a medical thing not cheating. Not to mention the fact that statistically condoms are less likely to cause pregnancy than vasectomies and if she was cheating she was probably using them. Good luck op! :)

jmac317 0

woaa hahahahahaha **** ur life

MRiKiCCS 0

" theirs an app for that "

andacondakiwi 11

hahahahahahahahahaha win.

dogcolon 0

46, I think you mean "there's an app for that". Punished.

joceyx3 0

some men end up getting more than one vasectomy because it doesn't work...

dannycoyne 0

yah I learned in bio a week ago the vas deferen can reheal/reroute too your testes it's not to uncommon

ExtremeEncounter 32

Did you just say it's not too uncommon? Misinformation. It's extremely uncommon.

xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0

Ouch dude that sucks. :/

robo_panda 0

uh oh! spaghetti-0h's!

Lelah 0

Oh no, this is some Jerry Springer shit!

syddyb 0

hot ^

ktrose 0

Shucks. You have some discussing to do eh?

millionaire93 0

ouch. what is the possible chances of this ACTUALLY happening? isn't it like 1 in 1,000,000 or something?

cocainewhore 30

1 in 2000 I believe

kill3rs 0

#10 win!!!

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

haha, thanks. :)

HollyElizabethHo 0

well it's obvious she's been whoreing around. lmao

Zmeilerr 22

I believe this translates into "she cheated on you". However, if it's been long enough since you had the surgery, some research shows that the veins in your penis actually grow back together. So, if you've had sex with her, it could be quite possible that you're the father. There's not enough information.

phatdaddy62 23

Veins in your penis? Dude! A Vasectomy has nothing to do with veins. It's the Vas Deferens. Hence, vasectomy. if they cut veins in your penis, I suppose that could cause erectile dysfunction issues.

Zmeilerr 22

Thanks for pointing that out. I believe you got the general idea of what I was trying to say though.

11colio11 4

Tee-hee you said penis