Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
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Top comments
volley4eva1698 0
birds are so ungrateful these days
ritbbehindu 0
those are some angry birds
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Comments (135)
LolAtYourFail 12
Hahanorknyardyha bork bork borkchops.
bennetts211 2
You couldn't politely tell him that there were signs instructing him not to feed the birds?
chlorinegreen 27
this is actually kinda funny. birds scare me. I would of ran. FYL op
volley4eva1698 0
lolatyourfail, I lol at your fail sir. so desperate to get the first comment...
chlorinegreen 27
Hey.. Some birds get big and the bigger they get they just seem to get more aggressive. I always give them breathing room. It also helps by giving me a couple of seconds for head start if I have to run. I'm so glad I don't live near a ostridge farm. **Shivers**
ChickenInMyKitch 4
is nobody else wondering what the hell #1 just said.....
mcxhunni 0
i agree with 1
bennetts211 2
Oh, sideways Nicki Minaj, your comments are always so witty, and in this case, completely correct. Still can not take you seriously, though :p. Perhaps if you rotated it, slightly?
Elenachka 0
37- blame Hitchcock and the eye pecking scene.
ihaterats 0
a bushy pussy. cat
ChickenInMyKitch 4
or maybe I should just change. my username to "SidewaysNickiMinaj"
DKParth13 5
was it red, yellow, or blue??
JesusFishTaco 5
37-Don't you mean scaredy cat? ba dum tsss
thtsuxs 0
op how was the guy feeding birds if he ran outta food??? and sideways nicki u asked for the people who aren't wondering...u should have used anybody
fatguy805 0
birds scare me too:/ it's their eyes they're kinda creepy lookin haha.
RandomPotato 0
Birds are vicious. My cousin's friend was trying to feed some at McDonald's, but he accidentally dropped all the food on one. the rest of the seagulls pecked it to death... 84- Your cat looks exactly the same as mine... It's sort of freaky...
EmperorPsycho 0
I have a bird living in my garage. Personally, I'm not scared f it, I'll open the garage door to let it outside occasionally, but my older sister is deathly afraid of it, and she will refuse to go outside unless she is sure it's gone.
LolAtYourFail 12
okay, who the hell changed my post to something that stupid?
LolAtYourFail 12
okay, why the hell would you qu33rbos thumb me down, that shit was hilarious
OwN3d3d 0
hi
Bobissmall 13
Probably Sirin. She likes a good laugh changing posts. Either way, it was a mod so don't argue.
scarletdragonfly 5
Large birds like ostriches scare the living shit outta me. A peacock came up to me at the zoo because he wanted my sandwich, and I ran away shrieking. 104 - why, that also looks like my cat! How peculiar.
scarletdragonfly 5
ahem *107
LolAtYourFail 12
Haha
turkishjew 0
number 1
gan4sula 2
you wish haha
volley4eva1698 0
I love how this comment got moderated in like a minute..#3. you fail sir
eminemchick 19
what did it say?
volley4eva1698 0
birds are so ungrateful these days
bennetts211 2
Which is whey they should all "take their asses back to their trees and shut the **** up."
dark_path 0
that is why they made angry birds application for this matter!
princessbits 17
lol Kingsley
Bakayarou_fml 0
I don't like tweetie bird either, that dumb bitch!
CryMoreFMLs 15
Oh god its kerrigan. Hide yo civilians, hide yo marines and hide yo firebats, cause shes killin errbody out here.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
exactly how swine flu started... damn illiterate bird feeders...
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
lol that made no sense sorry
Bobissmall 13
People who do that piss me off. There's a reason the signs are there, think of the other people...
marix54888 0
Well why don't you use your common sense (since they aren't) and ask them to stop.
Bobissmall 13
You're not thinking deep enough... months of people feeding these birds makes them associate humans with food... then i arrive, and suddenly the birds flock me. Now unless you have a time machine...
ZoZo17_fml 0
birds just don't know how to say "please"
ritbbehindu 0
those are some angry birds
hannahtaskey 9
win
Phase 0
"I see wat u did thar."
MrSassypants 34
65 you were going crazy correcting people on euros and can't even spell properly?
BooGhosted 0
It looks like a quote to me actually.
Bobissmall 13
Yup, the fact it is a meme and there are quote marks makes it all OK in my book.
ciarafox9 9
and people make fun of my fear of birds..
hiyourcute 0
Dude, those things are super scary!
ciarafox9 9
damn right they are!
MrSassypants 34
9 people always make fun of fears. People make fun of my fear of goldfish. I was attacked by one but it wasn't even the animal goldfish it was the snack. They say "The snack that smile back! Goldfish!" That wasn't a happy snack, it was angry as **** and attacked me!
MzCherry29 0
Lmfao @ Mr Snappypants!!!
MzCherry29 0
meant sassy!!
bitchslapped22 14
34, is your name Mr. Sassypants or Mrs. Assypants? Just wondering.
HelloNoora1 0
90- Mr. Sassypants he's a male
bitchslapped22 14
Thanks, ma'am
999pun999 0
what was he feeding them?
ciarafox9 9
cocaine
roxiesugarsizzle 0
I'm afraid of birds too
fatguy805 0
tha same thing they fed the bird in scary movie 2 :D haha jus sayin
smurfsarwales 9
they were probably the bird form of chuck norris
kialuvsyoo 3
Bacon, or good ol' KFC
kiaralove53 0
Wow people these days... can't follow the rules when they are in front of them.
kiaralove53 0
Not the OP, the man.
UnfOrg1ven 1
I know.