Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You poor thing. Your funny boyfriend made a joke before pleasuring you. My heart weeps for you. ******* stuck up princess ass clown.
TNB_xACiDiC 0
i did the same thing, my girl laughed;p
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Comments (144)
lemonypower 6
Get him a gas mask for Christmas.
Judus_beej 0
smells like fish, tastes like chicken, plug your nose and keep on licking.
Dog_Mask 0
If it taste like chicken, keep on licking. If it taste like trout, get the hell out.
Andrewconnolly 0
This is not even an fml, I would probably do the same if i was drunk
GawZ 0
you stanky girl
sourgirl101 29
Muff diver? Got to love that! However, please for his sake, wash those little fuzz balls that "Charmin" leaves off your cooch first.
Obelia 3
lol sounds like you are a lucky woman, pity you have to bitch about it. Maybe he should dump you for someone that will appreciate him..... and if you smell that bad maybe you might want to review your personal hygiene habits.
DeathHead 0
LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Godspeed.
GotALife 11
What a **** jerk should of kick his ******* 2 inch balls
Xythenol 6
Your life isn't ****** just because your boyfriend was trying to have a little fun. Christ, what is wrong with you girls? Get a damn sense of humor.
GotALife 11
#42 ya a man with a 2 inch balls try to have what you call "fun" than okay
fearthesteer 2
two inch balls are huge... if u mean diameter then DAMN!
quadder 0
vagisil is a useful investment...
GotALife 11
#43 ha ha ha funny-_-
dtbomb 3
as long as you don't use it as dip. That will make you poor and stupid.
quadder 0
poor and stupid and also a nascar lover