Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
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Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
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Comments (111)
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
brinean 0
hahhahahahaha stupid antiflood
debiasio69696969 0
that's ... no comment
sugarbabyxoxo 2
... i hope he was just kidding. if not that's friggin sick.
jassporah 0
Smh. Just smh.
jassporah 0
haha. The OPs name fits this entry.
FreeRunn3r 12
Way to go dumbass,bet you feel smart huh?
Timmo_fml 2
Made me chuckle. Definite high five for your boyfriend. I think one or two man points could be heading his way too! If only he'd pretended to be a lawnmower as well...
GiddyXD 0
haha hes a keeper :D that was pretty funny ok thats it you die anti flood -grabs ak47- dieee!! -aims at computer- dieee!!!!! -shoots all of computer pieces- haha bitch! oh shit i can post now.
you_and_me_fml 8
it's ironic that your username is "shmelly"
nooeyshooey 0
YDI for havin a smelly vag
Someone_somewere 7
#25 it's not ironic when you post an fml you can change your username
Roflmaaark 0
Today, my boyfriend was funny. FML
MonkeyBusiness_fml 3
In Soviet Russia vaginas don't smell (it's too damn cold for that to smell).
dancingxthexmoon 0
haha lmao 33
Giorgio272 2
Hmm. I always thought gays were a clean people? (Yes I am taking th assumption that by not selecting a gender it is dude on dude action)
bellepazzoxp 0
at 35, in soviet Russia vaginas smell yu!
brandonwong 18
hahaha
kthedestroyer 0
28... Is that a Chocobo?! Final Fantasy FTW!
bombtastic 10
shoulda done what 68 said. orrrr tell him he stinks too. ;)
bigdickprick 0
wash your cooter bitch
sasukesharingan 0
#7 have a man mouth
UNCmike 0
hmm not your best Russia joke
jenknee1989 0
u look like u r 8 lolol
CharlieFenton 0
how is that ironic, Jack ass ironic would be if her user name was something to do with a good smell
dance_till_dawn 0
#68, bahahahaha! OP, obviously your vag has smelled in the past. Then again, if it did, why the **** would he go down on you? Ok, I guess I'm at a loss.
derrickddiazz 0
lol
LSaintsU 0
lmao...that woulda been hilarous
meatballslicer 0
lmao!!
jayseangirl 0
..ew much?
YUMmMm 0
win!!!!!! xD
YUMmMm 0
ooppps I meant to say #68 win
Betz 10
Sounds like you and the douchebag are meant to be.
babbycakes101 0
lmfao. caution
bella2011 0
right on!!
98eclipsegs 0
your contents may be stinky
greatsarcazm 0
this made my ****** day hahahah
Hbkbryan 0
first
hisbaby75 0
love the name ;-)
liljeron 0
stanky vag
Veunz 4
Even clean vaginas aren't the best smelling things in the world...then again neither are clean penises...Genitals need to come in a scentless variety, seriously.
LinsKitty 0
146... no you're not, hun.
wiggz1990 0
lmao
immazombeastxD 0
ydi for having a BF that has a 'best' robot voice
wiz_khaliffa 0
oh wow
SwagMonster99 0
Lmaoo That Made Me Laugh To :'D
cajun_fml 0
once he's past the smell, he'll have it licked!
sxe1215 0
ydi. keep your **** clean.
massagenist 0
no kidfing #3 i can tell the race of a girl blindfolded by smelling her mons pubis. hey girls maybe its just me but your pussy sometimes smells like what you just had to eat. smoker girls ******* smell like the brand of cigs they smoke too,
kristennlovesyou 0
80...nassttyy.
wiz_khaliffa 0
#80 creepy......
Feklfekl2222 32
At least it was his "best" robot voice.
lizh_fml 9
i suppose it depends on whether you can take this in your stride. your boyfriend should know whether this kind of thing would bother you. i think its a bit weird so fyl
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
Apache_fml 0
aren't u suppose to wash it first?
deepfrey 0
air freshner, lul
samanthaaarose 0
all I could picture was one of those pine tree shaped car fresheners ;P
rguyver 0
This is a good place for a stick-up.
MVProbbins 0
same haha
gargoyle666 5
I think I should check to see if he was right.
Ashle1gh 14
Were the contents stinky?
LevyLove 17
lol well at least he's lickin it clean now
jenknee1989 0
yum! the fish smell is all gone :D
perdix 31
"Danger, Will Robinson, danger!" The worse you stink, the more he loves you.
FYLDeep 26
Who wouldn't love a sexy blue waffle?
leighxxx998 0
blue waffle?
sharpiebandit 0
Hahaha. My friends were talking about that last night. Google "blue waffle" if you don't know what it means. Also, it's nsfw.
kayvan 8
Ewww. Thanks. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
mylifeblows3232 3
dude that is one of the funniest picture I have ever seen. where did you get it at
perdix 31
Don't ever look at the blue waffle, you'll be a worse person for it. I know. I looked and I am a lesser man for it. Also, don't learn what felching is. Same thing. The world will end when they put video of someone felching the blue waffle on YouTube.
iSlip 0
Frebreeze? YDI
FreeRunn3r 12
Nwahahaaa!!!!!!! Fail!
FreeRunn3r 12
Aw dammit me fail....(sad face)