Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JustinThunder 8
Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.
Anupants 0
That is a no bueno.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (260)
Anupants 0
That is a no bueno.
CryMoreFMLs 15
His long-long -childhood- sweetheart? Dang, kids arestarting early this generation. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
L3Paparazzo 7
wata buzzzkill , ruined a goood time :P
hannahcorrine 0
Wow, major FYL. That guy is very inconsiderate to bring up someone else during such an intimate moment..
LiveLaughFML 10
long-lost childhood sweetheart? whoa, when I was eight, I use to use my mouth to argue with people over who's light up shoe is the coolest, not to give a BJ :P
morganrules123 10
When I was a kid I thought I'd get pregnant from being kissed on the cheek but I'm only 15 so I guess I'm different then my generation.
flockz 20
HEY ME TOO!!! I ALWAYS USED TO ARGUE ABOUT HOW COOL MY SHOES WERE! I HAD LIGHT UP SHOES UNTIL.... well now.
GuitarFail123 9
lol ik... light up shoes were the COOLEST!!!!:D
LiveLaughFML 10
why did my comment about light up shoes and BJs get deleted? lol(:
sickjairo 7
I'll melt in your mouth not in your hands
TheRealHouse 7
You must obtain his man card, and turn it in at once. and yes you have to do it, he does not even deserve the honor of turning it in himself. The bright side for you op though is that you have full rights to keep his balls in your purse, but don't worry, they won't take up too much space.
YourEvilHero 12
that's when you bite his dick to make sure he doesn't mention her again. lol
Keyman1212 14
Tastes like teen spirit!
Johnny2by4 0
be quiet mad girls, you're all just mad that you don't have a guy who cares about emotions because you date jerks. it is okay if he burst into treats, it shows he is human and has feelings too. he doesn't only want sex because he has a genuine care for people
d0hhhhhhhhhEY 0
I am available. When the boyfriend can't get it done, the situation will step up to hit a homer
SirObvious 1
Wish I could burst into treats too.
sleepydeath 4
Squirmy worm in you mouth 0.0
mgsoloist 14
119 is gay. Sorry but if a guy starts crying over someone a long time ago, he is clearly not ready for another relationship, and he's a pansy. And not to be stereotypical, but I haven't cried over a relationship and I'm a girl. I would laugh if he started crying mid-******* because of how ridiculous it is.
Jammy01jams 2
131 = Heartless bitch. You know there's this thing it's called feelings. Clearly this guy wasn't ready, I don't blame him though breaking up with someone you loved is hard, and getting into a new relationship is the easiest way for a guy to move on and try to forget.
mgsoloist 14
But you shouldn't put someone else through that if you're getting over someone. If it bothers then that much, then they should go through a healing process, but don't bring someone else into the mix, making it harder.
StoryOfTheYear 15
That is a "no good" 0.o Lol improv Spanish :D
Sweet_Testicles 7
lol 40 you're stupid as hell.
chickenpie90 16
LOL
_Oblivion_ 12
43 heelis or wutever the hell they are used to be the shit when u were like 7
ggdawg24 0
68- 50 cent referance ftw
Keyman1212 14
Actually 245, that's the M&M's candy slogan. Not a 50 Cent reference.
xdevil44445 2
Haha never again
ms_fancypants 15
Guys can burst into treats?? Whoa!
sleepyolivia 14
119: I'd be so mad if my boyfriend did this, not because he's crying but because he's mentioning an ex-lover in the presence of his current one which is really rude. There are very few off limits topics for relationships, but exes is definitely one and anyone with half a brain should know that.
JustinThunder 8
Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.
Krennicus 0
*Brohoof*
genesisnirvana 11
I wonder is OP dumped him.That would get a RISE out of him.
Jaxx66 21
She couldn't keep him up, or something happened to keep his sweetheart and him apart. Which both options 'suck' for OP.
every1luvsvag 10
Well played sir.
Johnny2by4 0
brofist it. leave it to females to think they're always right and men are left at fault
annasworld 3
limp weenie alert
hexblot 10
It puts a whole new spin on "melts in your mouth, not in your hand"!!
wooni0104 2
www mushy penis
bizarre_ftw 22
Omnomnomnomnom *shudder*
Pandaloverr 0
Like applesauce!!!
bizarre_ftw 22
Or jello after a trip through the blender!!! :D
mgsoloist 14
90-I sooo did not need discussion about a blender and a penis in the same post lol.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
www mushy penis? Is that a url? www.mushypenis.op?
StoryOfTheYear 15
90- Jello thru a blender would result in chopped pieces of jello Hopefully you are not implying that the same result happened to the OP's BF D: If so, OP must've been pretty dang pissed that he went all buzzkill on her
decidedlyvague 11
what about a penis in the shap of a blender? omnomnomnom daiquiri?
wooni0104 2
I meant eww mushy penis
magicrock 8
childhood?
glutgyoogle 6
All the cool kids in elementary school did it.
jbluebird923 0
So the OP gives head like 10 year old. Upsetting
WCARlover 35
It could mean they started liking eachother early in their childhood but the childhood lover couldve went down on him when she was in her teens
jbluebird923 0
Wow. But shouldn't that be a turn off for you..?
jumpshot23 0
Thank you captain obvious.
bizarre_ftw 22
^idiom alert!!! :D
frankieredsox 7
Some of us are slow... and them some are SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
applesuckers 0
#169 Wow...
Babalu722 3
i think that comment was so stupid, i found it funny and thumbe it up
picklezz123 5
why can't anyone here spell?
Saltime 0
230 - The same reason nobody can capatalize letters.
ohrlynao 0
*capitalize Unless that was on purpose, in which case I lol'd.
maryrain 0
i ttally agree! r thees peepole stoopid err sumting??
oneleggedbeauty 0
So try going harder? Maybe doing it more sexy?
jumpshot23 0
Do I need to repeat what I told #6? genius!
bizarre_ftw 22
It would seem so
oneleggedbeauty 0
Ahem. From what I understood, he was turned off by her, therefor she should probs go down on him in a different was maybe being more sexy less memory filled
happymelon 0
Were you born an idiot, or was it a gradual evolution?
20jetsgo 3
So your the: "pro of blow"...lol haha
fajitaswan 0
what's wrong with that guy..seriously lolz
divadro102 16
Men have emotions too. Shit happens. Make him feel better
sematariux 7
She was trying...
keshav97 0
I thiink he was talking to the ppl saying the guy was a jerk? but yea I agree
22cute 17
Yes, but to be thinking of the ex instead of enjoying the efforts of his here & now girlfriend is selfish and pointless. He can have that emotion alone.
ericb8272 2
A bj should make anybody feel better
divadro102 16
Unless said BJ by ex-sweetheart was terrible enough to guarantee a flacid penis
MrBoredGuy 1
Who cries when they're about to get a bj... You probably bit him
otb113 7
his poor Jim Dangle...
wordnerd42 0
She bit just like whatsherface.. -sob-
kbt13 0
Jealous?
danielreader22 4
You said the same thing on the other FML. Which also didn't make sense. So please shut the **** up.
testbug321 3
The pain feels good ;)
kbt13 0
ok