Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
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Top comments
slooby_fml 25
She's pretty clever to not fall for your shenanigans
ryanthecheeseguy 18
This girl is going places. Not college, but places.
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Comments (123)
slooby_fml 25
She's pretty clever to not fall for your shenanigans
K410 18
And brother of the year goes to... XD
puggypark 14
Well shes a bright child
Ctrl_H 18
My brother did the same thing to me when I swallowed a watermelon seed by mistake. Mom couldn't convince me he was lying. Then started to get a bit chubby and I blamed it on the "watermelon." I was not the sharpest lightbulb In the crayon box as a kid.
ImAFaker 29
Actually the brother of the year award goes to the kid who convinced his sister that they were a ghost family.
slooby_fml 25
I feel it. I used to suck my thumb until like first grade, and to get me to stop my mom showed me pictures of frost bitten fingers and told me that that's what would happen to my thumb if I didn't stop sucking it. It scared me shitless, despite the fact that some of the pictures were of feet. Why didn't I question people sucking on their feet? The world may never know
FailBear920 19
Does this FML remind anyone of that Rugrats episode where one of the rats of the rug swallows a seed? Or am I just really old and delusional?
gameofthrones_fml 12
#54 nope you're not crazy, I have a vague memory of Chuckie swallowing a watermelon seed. Then they all go inside his stomach to find it.
Nordrag 26
43 - some people actually do suck their own feet. My cousin used to do that all the time as a kid. She didn't stop until she was like 12.
bingbongbingbong 11
Just old
Ctrl_H 18
54- So that's where my brother got the idea
Lacist 19
#38 Well, if you think sharp light bulbs are in crayon boxes..
effyuuurlifee 7
Smart kid.
Nevermind212 11
Poor kid. Totally brainwashed by the media so does her generation
Ziggyboo 10
Yeah, it's clearly the media to blame, not, like, the brother that told the sister or the sister for being so gullible or stressed.
Lolthatsuxbroski 7
A bad seed doesn't always end as a bad one
CaiDog 20
Umm.... what?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
3--doesnt really go with this fml but true statement.
Uramonkey 11
35 - Sure it does! He's comparing the brother to a bad seed. Eventually he will stop pranking his sister. As for the seed inside the sister... It is sadly no longer a seed but a mess of digestive fluid. This comment does not deserve thumbs down!
ViRepz 28
Give her some weed killer to drink
missrebecca3 8
that isn't even funny, that's horrible and inhumane. you should be ashamed
persianninja 23
Yeah because poisoning an 8 year old Is great parenting
gallaeo 21
To give her actual weed killer yes, that's just messed up, I agree with 16. However.......it wouldn't be a bad idea to mix up some juice or something & slap a "tree killer" label or something of the sort to ease the lil one's mind...
evilonesdaughter 12
asshole bad idea
ironichalibut 24
21- until she believes you totally and then the next time she eats an apple seed, helps herself :o
emilie_gambii 9
Since its an herbicide (designed to kill plants) and not a pesticide (kills animals) or a biocide (kills all life), it wouldn't be good for her and she might need to have her stomach pumped but it wouldn't kill her
HowieDoIt 21
At the risk of down votes, he's just joking. Yeah it's messed up if he was being serious bur you all jumped down a guy's throat for making a joke that wasn't that bad.
ViRepz 28
The one thing FML has shown is people take everything personally and have no sense of humour
bingbongbingbong 11
Your a smart one aren't you
Turrence 9
Take it easy, pal. Geez..
alonur 6
Just a joke, people. A good one, too. Can't you guys just appreciate a good joke? Geez.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
This girl is going places. Not college, but places.
ohSNAPyall 27
Whatever, I think she's pretty clever to have already discerned that social cue from adult television shows.
Ziggyboo 10
Like Jersey Shore?
ViviMage 40
Should you tell her some seeds germinate AFTER they've been in the guts of an critter and they never die? Nature doesn't kill birds and squirrels!
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Way to ruin the FML with science.
Tigerblossom 19
Just tell her that if it was going to grow it would have happened (insert amount of time) ago. Or give her a "special juice" that makes the tree not grow, preferably not apple juice.
alonur 6
I would do that. But i would probably give her applejuice.
Cleu 12
That's what you normally have to do with young children #7. Sometimes you have to make things up to get rid of the things that were made up. My mind is now twisting from trying to phrase that.
flashback.miss 28
Ahh! Siblings pranks. But hopefully, you have yo son console her
Misswildsides 22
Your profile picture...O.o
RoseBlack123 37
Google it and show her the results, that should calm her down. Then help her plot revenge
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Except google isnt a reliable source.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@36 But you can find reliable sources through google. That's generally what people do, they don't rely on google itself to give an answer.
Greybade 9
It's scary how reliant our generation is on google.
vipirius 18
Better than being reliant on bing *shudders*
Rougeee 6
I don't know what's worse: the son convincing the daughter or the daughter believing the son.
Rainbowjumper0 12
Well they are just kids after all. With time she'll see it was just a stupid prank, and then the revenge shall begin
effyuuurlifee 7
Can't expect the daughter to know the truth.