miiiiilk
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Observation
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
thisblows
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Fuck
Fowler, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Repetition
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Anonymous
Douglas, Isle of Man 🌶️ Spicy
Close to the edge
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
-_-
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Fond memories
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
shmelly
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Turn me on
Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
nikkrissa_04
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Close but no BJ
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Anonymous
Duarte, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You poor thing. Your funny boyfriend made a joke before pleasuring you. My heart weeps for you. ******* stuck up princess ass clown.
TNB_xACiDiC 0
i did the same thing, my girl laughed;p
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Comments (144)
DearlyBeloved20 3
Ha ha Wow XD
MRiKiCCS 0
fish much ?
cradle6 13
Thats actually pretty funny. He was just trying to be cute.
starile 20
If this actually bothered you, give him reason to hold his breath. Fart in his face. However, I can't believe you're whining about your bf going down on you despite your smelly pussy. It's a sign of LOVE, you prick!
Macromartyr 3
I love going down on a girl, everyone about it so sensational. Combine that with a vibrator and you're on easy street xD
Action_Bastard 0
Ah, the sport of Muff Diving is alive ad well.
Action_Bastard 0
and* -__-' Must correct myself before the grammar nazis rape me!
solegit 0
That was a spelling error, not a grammatical one. By the way, you forgot to capitalize Nazi.
Action_Bastard 0
hmmm...well I guess I should have addressed them as the Spelling Nazis then.
ProjeKtSC2 8
NAZI is actually all capitals, as it is an abbreviation. Smart ass...
Dinkle 1
^ Nice.
dwillson15 2
Nice
cajekraze 7
Sounds like he was trying to be cute. Don't be a bitch, loosen up and laugh. If this was because he didn't know what to do, guide him, teach him to get you off. just don't be whiny about it, try not to be a bitch, and enjoy life. f your bf's life for putting up with you
CatEyes66 0
it sounds like he doesn't like the smell of her. it is still an insult even though he was trying to be cute. How can you guide someone through oral if they can't even handle the smell.
afdude87 6
maybe they/you should wash the stink out then? clean pussy doesn't smell bad, its your fault if you be stinkin.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Haha. That's great!
DocBastard 40
You poor thing. Your funny boyfriend made a joke before pleasuring you. My heart weeps for you. ******* stuck up princess ass clown.
DearlyBeloved20 3
I really need to start calling people that XD
SunshineBoy21 0
Maybe, just maybe, her pu$$y smelled so bad - he had to hold his breath. ;)
EZPZ 0
Tis the murky Pacific mates. Full of evil and mystery, home of the great sea beast, Kraken. We all must venture through. I'm not going to lie to you men, most of us won't be making it out alive. But for those lucky few...those CHOSEN few...I bid thee a most fruitful life... :)
Exeggcute 5
Tldr
DarthVader77 9
Could not have said it better! Well done, dude! People with no sense of humor put capital B in "boring"! :)
bycrider 0
hahaha funny ama do that to my gf lol
Gumbinator 11
lmao haha me too =p
pandapoopDX 0
by the way you spell, I don't think your old enough
Zebidee 9
*By *you're *enough.
IVANTTOCOME 0
Maybe you should trim it up, so it does not look like a cave.
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
I didn't know caves were furry.
Barn312009 0
lmao only in the 3rd world countries... and Amish country.. lol
CombatBarnie 0
Wow, your life is ****** now...
rowannn 0
god knows what this guy was gonna say
TNB_xACiDiC 0
i did the same thing, my girl laughed;p
Aliyette 0
<<----is that u guys?? if it is ur sooo cute together!
decodingthepastx 0
you're also cute, he mustve been a real winner or she was a bitch either wins
anyav3 13
That's a girl with an awesome sense of humor! An definite keeper :)
LasAranas 0
...Jeez, men are idiots sometimes. It was just a stupid joke. However you are now perfectly within your rights to bring a magnifying glass to his crotch "to help find it" next time you go down on him.
PhilTSG 1
I agree, sounds fair to me
JPEG7 12
nice
kels_409 0
Yeah...umm i don't get why this is a fml. Someone inform me what's so bad about him saying that.
Rapt0rJesus 0
Your aren't very smart, but you make up in weight.