Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
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Top comments
Immortal_Toaster 23
That's snot very fun..
Pleonasm 36
Did you then punch yourself in the heart because you wouldn't stop bleeding?
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Comments (106)
Immortal_Toaster 23
That's snot very fun..
IloveToLaugh143 21
That snot going to stop your sneezing, OP.
Wakachulak 22
And I thought I had anger issues
feven 32
SHUT THE **** UP! *punches self* If I can witness this, I will be satisfied with my life.
Sirmrcrowley 12
I didn't know America still made that kind of stupid.
incoherentrmblr 22
Quit hitting yourself.
kuzzy00 22
Americans are known for that kind of stupid. In New Zealand, we say "Only in America..." in situations such as these.
zandalee 20
Jake The Muss from Once Were Warriors would have just demanded, "bitch! Make me some eggs!"
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Remember, "who's that pretty girl in the mirror there?"
amicusbriefs 10
What mirror? Where?
Soloman212 28
42: anger TISSUES.
onealmxwilson 18
My brother has done the exact same thing. I guess he and OP have some things in common.
Brick5000 7
#81 - I don't know why that got so many negative votes. I'm American and I laughed my ass off at that!
jonfrenzy 10
Do you need a tissue for your issues?
Lebeaugars95 20
bless you?
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
that's kinda stupid.
8born8 18
Like your comment.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
relax, it's not that serious
8born8 18
*Throws lamp* Lighten up man.
incoherentrmblr 22
I love lamp...
mb2_native 15
Lamp no love you back
RedPillSucks 33
wrong. Lamp love you long time. Especially when plugged in.
extrasnipes 22
Lamp gets real turned on when plugged in
Pleonasm 36
Did you then punch yourself in the heart because you wouldn't stop bleeding?
JMichael 26
No he punched himself in the brain for doing something so stupid.
8born8 18
Quiet brain, or I'll poke you with a Q-tip.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I wonder what he does for hiccups?
JMichael 26
Throat punch
KVKdragon 26
Hiccups are caused by diaphragm spasms, not throat issues...
kiki9_fml 10
Lol yeah, but if he's stupid enough to punch himself in the nose for sneezing too much, then who knows what he'd do if he lost his shit over hiccups!
HersheySquirts 17
I hope OP doesn't ever get blue balls.
extrasnipes 22
Does that mean he puts his hand in his when he has the runs?
Misandrist 9
Don't be so surprised. You can't expect things like emotional restraint from a male.
extrasnipes 22
Well just noticed my mistake
falon142012 22
I'm sorry, 99 so just because someone has a penis means they don't have to control their emotions? That's a terribly wrong point of view.
Harpy20 24
Can't be too surprised. 99's name is misandrist.
Misandrist 9
Having a penis doesn't mean being a male. Trans people exist. Cute transphobia, though.
aimzskee 30
Op would probably make an exception for that one.
blueboy154 12
I did that before...
onlychildFTW 34
Why? "GRRRR I hate my sneezing I'm going to injure myself!" How stupid must you be?
BubbleGrunge 18
Is a bloody nose really better than a snotty nose?
NeatNit 33
A bloody snotty nose is definitely not better than a snotty nose.
invadermaythe1st 35
It's snot recommended that you do that.
rocker_chick23 27
I think it's time for you to take anger management classes.
zandalee 20
This person should never have children. Imagine the reaction to a dirty diaper?
rocker_chick23 27
Or the baby crying. I have a feeling if OP does have a kid, it will die of shaken baby syndrome.
supersitter 11
Shut up jackass. Try being empathetic. I know it's a foreign concept for you, just try your best
rocker_chick23 27
#112, I suggest you take anger management courses too. Being that angry is really unhealthy
Redoxx_fml 22
Goosfrabaa
foxwasalamb 24
what has society some to? really?
Pleonasm 36
I know right? You and I are the only normal ones in this face-punching, mad-as-a-hatter society. The amount of decadence in this skidmark society had me close to submission, but thank goodness you came in to save me from this cesspool!
cryssycakesx3 23
it's the people with pink hair..
8born8 18
And what about us people with pink hair? There are many levels of pink, some not quite as bright as others.
glabberfasted 16
Pink? That is definitely purple.
incognito1520 20
Because of your short temper or because you're dumb?
8born8 18
Anger management, you're doing it wrong! Perhaps next time, try blowing your nose to clear out the irritation, because it seems that beating it out of there hasn't worked out too well.