Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML
Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Immortal_Toaster 23
That's snot very fun..
Pleonasm 36
Did you then punch yourself in the heart because you wouldn't stop bleeding?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
rockhead1270 5
Take a selfi. Post it, lay back and listen to Justin Bieber music. Your a genius.
DaDezza244 31
First of all, it's selfie and you're and secondly, listening to Justin Bieber will cause even more rage and desire to punch himself! Also how's posting a selfie would calm him down anyways? Then again in could've missed your sarcasm, who knows.
cryssycakesx3 23
wow bro. you shouldn't be correcting anyone.
cakefete2 31
It's like his auto correct was like "wait guys, don't correct him.This will be funny."
8born8 18
C'mon guys, 28 is half asian, half Australian. We don't always get it right and the poor kid's at uni and probably hasn't eaten proper sustenance in 3mths. Dude's brain is overloaded. AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE!!!
kuzzy00 22
I'm confused; is it Australian or Asian that are "stupid" as you're pointing out? There's no excuse at all for misusing your and you're !! You must always check grammar on FML
8born8 18
79, I'm not saying Asians are stupid and I'm not saying Australians are stupid. I didn't use that word at all. However, I was implying that, because of his heritage, he studies hard at uni and the jumbled arrangement of grammar and spelling are a result of this. Churr bro.
supersitter 11
So basically you're saying you weren't calling him stupid. Merely being a racist douche? Because that is just so much better.
itcomesinthrees 10
I'd punch myself for listening to Justin Bieber..
rockhead1270 5
Selfie wasn't even a word 2 years ago numbnuts.
underthesea12 24
ydi... did you bleed?
IloveToLaugh143 21
What do you think, #16?
8born8 18
No 16, strawberry soft serve ice cream poured out.
Vitotaylor36 13
Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?
cryssycakesx3 23
hitting your nose doesn't mean you'll aways bleed.
91hayek 31
Yes he did bleed, and no he didn't stop sneezing. Red mist everywhere....
8born8 18
55, the consistency is all wrong, so no, no strawberry milkshake. If it is bleeding, shove a tampon up your nose OP.
blcusername 27
#55 Boat nectar? Some of God's tears?
itcomesinthrees 10
I don't know why people down voted this, it wouldn't necessarily make him bleed. I've never bled from my nose in my life and I've taken some pretty hard hits to my face/nose playing sports.
rybaby23 8
Why would you punch yourself in the face? I hope it hurt and hopefully knocked some sense into you!
xAstronomicx 13
I would say you deserve it. Need to work on those anger issues. GOOSFRABA
91hayek 31
I'm going with SERENITY NOW!!! We'll see who has more peace at the end.
8born8 18
WOOO-SAAHHH...
PurelyCanadian 18
Yeah. You probably shouldn't do that. Or continue fighting yourself. Whatever floats your boat and tickles your fancy.
brandoneyez1 25
Did it help?
vlalam 24
May be u should check the side effects of short temper... After all common sense is not so common
borntoperform 14
Well that's attractive...
hulopro 16
Why?
dixiefoxx 22
I can relate... Kind of. I have anger issues too, but I've never punched myself before.