Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had a sneezing fit in the middle of the night, like 10 really great big sneezes, but then it was over and I went back to sleep. I got up this morning and turned the light on, and turns out I’d been sneezing blood over everything, the bed, walls, carpet, furniture, clothes, everything. FML
Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
my2centsworth 15
Are you sure it's just a cold? Colds don't generally cause vomiting.
firstdbzmaker 15
haha wow I would cry if my luck was this bad...FYL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
EightInchNails 9
This is sheer epicness...
chillaux 0
^dude wtf?
MAGNAVOX 0
^dude WTF?
EightInchNails 9
dude WTF? ^^
chillaux 0
^WTF
muhdoggin 0
WTF DUDE^^
chillaux 0
y'all r just jealous cus I thought of it first haha :)
EightInchNails 9
This shit just got real...
MAGNAVOX 0
Real hd.
Doortje 30
Dudes, WTF?! ^^^
chillaux 0
^no
I_iz_special 0
Can you actually comment on this fml, instead of showing off your beautiful one word and acronym vocabulary.
I_iz_special 0
ugh hit send by accident before I could finish. Op that sucks have you tried seeing the doctor yet? They can work wonders with their mysterious occult powers.
chillaux 0
and also, WE were actually commenting on the comment. u just wana get everyone to see what ur sayin loser
fyllx10 0
hahah 40's right, you loser.
BigBirdLookAlike 0
Ya loser. ^
MAGNAVOX 0
^ big loser
sheribb 5
Christ poor you, vomiting, sneezing, bashing your nose,knocking yourself out !! your lucky your alive!!!
firstdbzmaker 15
haha wow I would cry if my luck was this bad...FYL
my2centsworth 15
Are you sure it's just a cold? Colds don't generally cause vomiting.
muhdoggin 0
there's different kinds of colds...
Intoxicunt 6
Mucus running down the throat can cause vomiting. Plus, yes, any kind of virus can upset a sensitive stomach.
iyahkinz 0
thats gotta hurt icepack
CloudEnvy 17
Wouldn't it hurt your feelings, being pressed against someone's bloody nose?
muhdoggin 0
I feel sorry for you :T at least none of that stuff fell out and splashed back into your mouth just to choke you with puke infested toilet water and make you even SICKER right?
Rhianikki 0
Might I suggest a medically induced coma? It may be less painful for you at this point... but seriously that sucks OP, there is a nasty cold going around where I live too.
Shookitup 0
Ouch :(
MAGNAVOX 0
I think your gorgeous ! mw2 all dayyyyyyyyyyy.
ryan737 0
what's your gamertag
Seba_2020 0
GT?
BananaTroll 0
No one cares about the nose, OP. What color was your puke?
nikkibeez 0
who cares? are you trying to figure out what op ate as their last meal?
TheBananaTheif 0
delicious.
DROELOELULZ 0
glad i dont feel anythin' YDI for havin' a nose
georggx 3
aww bless you! that's horrible. must of hurt!