Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
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Comments (240)
boredblonde 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would vomit on his face
skata 4
yeah, vomiting on guys face is a great way to get them to last longer
aligiorav 11
Nah man, I tried that out once. Pretty much halved the time it took me...
mike410 0
#13 you are very stupid my friend your sense of humor is immature
boredblonde 17
Loosen up and enjoy the world of randomness....
FYLDeep 26
Why do people set such high expectations for their first time?
Enslaved 38
I think it's because many hope that moment will be extra special. Every girl I know, remembers their first time in great details. But you're right, many expectations are usually set way too high.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Think about it this way...Which comment gets more thumbs up, the FIRST one, or the BEST one? I don't see what the big deal is either. It's not like you expect to become an international champion race car driver the first time you get behind the wheel, so why have such high expectations for sex?
floridagrl12 0
It's because everyone makes a big deal about loosing ur virginity. Everyone expects from all the hipe and stories from experienced friends they think that's how the first time is sappose to be. If u stop stressing about it being perfect and amazing then it will be.
mrwiggles5422 4
hit me up and I will show you a good time. >;-)
skyttlz 32
That's funny
jgduplante 9
Your lucky your first time was quick.. It could be painful if it lasted a while.
LilBunny 0
Haha he's a winner OP :)
MissKrissy 5
My guy didn't even last two minutes :( but he wasn't that stupid after
missyj0 12
Are you trying to get onto 16 and Pregnant?
white16sox 19
78 have you ever heard of a condom? Ya it stops people from becoming pregnant.
ReynshineCutting 10
Have you ever heard that they're only 97% effective when used properly and many people don't use them properly?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
And have you ever heard of the fact that it just plain feels better without a condom? Once you try it it's pretty hard to go back down a notch.
white16sox 19
117 well that's true. But there are other things such as birth control to help prevent pregnancy as well.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Birth control can screw you up so bad. Just read up on women's horror stories all over the net about it. And it seriously kills your drive, so then what's the ****** point?
white16sox 19
All I'm trying to say is that just because this person is having sex at 16 doesn't necesarily mean she will become pregnant thanks to the multiple ways of preventing birth.
joa76 3
Birth control doesn't necessarily lower your sex drive, and if it does, you're SUPPOSED to go to the doctor and ask to try a different kind.
withered 30
"The ******* point" is to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Shocking, I know. Even more shocking is that there are other forms of contraception as well. Another shocking thing - you have different brands of pills. If one does not suit you you can try another. Contraception is reliable and if you don't use it properly - well that shit is on you. What's with the "Oh, it's not 100% effective so what's the point?" bullshit? If you are worried then combine 2 forms of protection/contraception (condoms + pills for example). Besides, if you are too incompetent to use protection then you should not be having sex. And if you are an idiot that thinks "oh, but it is so much better without condom" is a reason not to use protection and you do not seek an alternative - well then that is on you too.
withered 30
And about your "horror stories" - I am pretty sure there are WAY more people satisfied with pills than there are horror stories. Some people even take it for other problems (acne for example or to regulate their periods). (Teenagers) having sex is natural, it's pleasurable, fun and form of bonding with your partner and not a bad thing like you are trying to paint it.
disneyfan101 6
Haha, Sounds like he's a little too immature to be having sex :p
Alex94xela 0
OP he lasted 2 mins but He's carrying a six shooter like Most of us teens So you shoulda took advantage of that
eyorsdocjr 0
You should have smacked his balls...Js:)
brianjman14 23
Hell no, that shit hurts.
2muchfun1 7
We should punch you in the ****!