Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
LolFMLnot 10
You should give the guy some credit, at least he tried. First time is not always what you imagine it to be.
deltoramastr 12
Look on the bright side. Your sex life can only improve :-)
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Comments (207)
LolFMLnot 10
You should give the guy some credit, at least he tried. First time is not always what you imagine it to be.
iOceanus 18
I feel sorry for OP because that's pretty bad, but it waaaas only the first time. You know what they say, practice makes perfect ;)
doubleddun 9
It gets easier! Haha
doubleddun 9
It gets easier! Haha
iXTMAstro 6
Well everyone's first time is uncomfortable and hurts. The more you do it, the less it hurts
Drigr 9
I'm curious where ANYONE got the notion that the first time is an hour of absolute bliss ended in simultaneaous ******. I don't know any girl that can honestly say her first time hurt like hell, or any guy that can honestly say he lasted like a champion for their first times.
fgwrxfiend 11
My first time wasn't painful at all and was wonderful...well the girl I lost it to was far more experienced than I was so maybe that's why
happle 21
It's understandable that sex hurts the first time, but I don't get why the boyfriend wanted to use the condom a second time. That's nasty.
Drigr 9
So apparently I missed the "didn't" in "didn't hurt like hell"
toddin 7
The first time for girls is usually uncomfortable, but I wouldn't say it always hurts like hell the first time. Personally, I thought my first time was pretty fun, did it hurt? Yeah. Was I sore the next morning? He'll yeah. The initial pain though, all depends on how patient your partner is and how slowly he eases into it. OP didn't mention whether or not her boyfriend was a virgin also, but it's pretty common sense you don't reuse, or try to reuse, a condom, so shame on your boyfriend op.
Senseless_487 29
The first time doesn't generally hurt for guys, 83. If it does, you're doing it WAY wrong.
daisy2101 7
83- when they talk about losing their virginities and it 'hurting', there usually referring to girls..lol
Drigr 9
Not being hatefully or anything, I have a few friends of the persuasion, but I imagine it hurts the first time for the guy if he's gay and taking it... But that's also leaving the realm of "generally speaking"
FlyingPie 17
#116: It depends on what they're doing.. Gay sex doesn't necessarily mean anal. :P
sweethang26 7
90- haha yeah I got confused(:
ShyAnn29 15
My first time really hurt! Actually my first few times really hurt, it's obviously different for everybody.
elmski87 0
Was she the big spoon afterwards too?
mooleelee 0
Sorry OP, everyone's first time is a doozy
klovemachine 24
I was a two pump chump my first time :( but I have done better since, even lasting over an hour a couple of times :)
zingline89 18
Well I would would expect no less from the love machine
CrewBoy 10
14, a lot of guys can. But the problem is, not many girls like that.
spekledworf 18
24 I second that. Nothing like a chaffing vag...
meganfoxissexy 0
Might as well wrap his penis up in Saran wrap
klovemachine 24
First time sucks for both men and women usually :( of course I've heard guys brag about lasting longer the first time, but I don't believe them :P Lol @ 20 :D
candiicane 12
Not necessarily. If you've spent time strictly on oral/hands leading up to the event (dating for a few months), you become MUCH better at the whole self control thing. It's people who rush into sex that can't figure out what they're doing. You won't be a wiz at doing the deed, but you can atleast get more than 30 seconds in!
jessmariee 7
Not everyone's.......
Pelvispresley 8
That really SEX... Anyone? No? Ok...
ydi_4_suking 20
No.
SquishFish 15
Haha I found this joke to be very punny, I dunno about anyone else....
panda_burrito 2
3 and 33 both deserve to be strung up by your vas deferens and/or fallopian tubes.
buck33 14
I just want to rage whenever someone says punny.
Len_Kagamine 8
That was such a bad pun it took me two minutes just to figure out what you were trying to say...
aamberlee 0
Oh, I get it. It was a pun. I thought you had a stroke on your keyboard, I'm glad you're okay.
fuzz97 23
Actually, 91, if they had an actual stroke on their keyboard it would still have been funnier than that extremely forced pun.
Alan2 24
Ok, someone please explain what the pun was. I still can't figure it out after rereading the comment several times.
Alan2 24
OH. I just got it. That was the biggest waste of time
thewiseguy13 0
lol that is five minutes you will never get back Alan :-)
SlyFox358 10
Literally took me 10 minutes and saying it out loud for a while to understand. Horrible pun.
DoDaJulio 13
116 nopes lol
deltoramastr 12
Look on the bright side. Your sex life can only improve :-)
SpearD 4
Hopefully...
alstbv12 13
Sounds like your average first time. Although I think most guys know not to reuse condoms.
zingline89 18
Back in my day we didn't have condoms. We had to use a sandwich bag and a rubber band. Man, you spoiled kids will never know what it was like living in the mid-2000s.
pickles1994 18
There is a long history behind the condom.
berichsoon 11
And sure as hell that story has nothing to do with 23's BS story
zingline89 18
I was kidding. I'm aware condoms have been around for many decades.
spekledworf 18
5 My boyfriend likes to leave the condom on for a while after he finishes. He'd keep it on all day if I didn't tell him to toss it
unknown_user5566 27
42- Please be kidding.
CrewBoy 10
For the sake of humanity be kidding...
MisterEx 28
42- apparently, your boyfriend is trying to test a theory by keeping the condom on after he finishes. Long enough for the semen to go through the skin -> make himself pregnant. . Just tell him it doesn't work this way and he'll eventually understand. I guess.
klovemachine 24
This thread is very entertaining :D
september1395 7
23- We're in the early 2000's..... .......we've still got 988 years to go....... ....*awkward*.......
bustub2 8
Sarcasm is lost on some folks.
bustub2 8
42 Q. Why did your BF's condom fly across the room? A. It was pissed off!
spekledworf 18
Guys I wish I was kidding. Continue to bury so no one else has to see this
I_lost_the_game 25
I find if it's buried, I want to find out what it says even more.
radioedit 7
I remember first tine, sounds just like that
Pelvispresley 8
I Tine is the prong of a fork...
kakarot2 11
NO WAY!! You are forking with me?
the_smart_way 10
That's knife to know
SpearD 4
Too spoon?
boofgall 16
The first tine is the best tine, right?
SlyFox358 10
#15 Please just stop with the attempted jokes. {I don't understand them at all}
taystahl 7
Someone popped the cherry :) lol
ElricMustang 23
Not really, because that doesn't indicate losing virginity. A girl can pop it any other way easily and accidentally.
annie_nk 23
Tampons. Rough bike ride. Car accident.
onlychildFTW 34
Horseback riding. Fingering. And about anything else in life.
teague95 16
115 - even playing Twister?
vettle 6
Just supposed to be funny. Sigh.
onlychildFTW 34
Twister can lead to popping the cherry, yes. That game gets everyone so close and hot it'll lead to some fun. ;) Haha. Unless you're doing it with family of course. Twister is good at a party though. Body's so close and rubbing.
agonydrum 7
I think its more appropriately applied as a euphemism rather than a reference to an actual physical occurrence...
taystahl 7
Yeah what u said
dmblonde 13
The first time isn't always that great. You just gotta try again and hopefully figure out how to do it right. Sorry your boyfriend was so stupid about the condom though.
PoodleJuice 7
They say you always remember your first.
scoobysmith44 9
I only got one thing to say to you... Chive on!
Welshite 40
Your first time isn't like it seems in the romance novels, it's ususally awkward with a lot of fumbling. You'll both get the hang of it soon enough. :)
Posthuman 26
My first time was almost exactly like a romance novel ._.
Zdoggg 4
Eww this ******* guy is still posting and taking new pics :/ and every comment is always either annoyingly conceited or just plain dumb. Please just stop posthuman, your disgusting.
Posthuman 26
I make my comments as conceited or annoying as I please. Just as you make your complaints as displeasing and whiny as you want.
laurbear87 8
40- doubt it
ApologyKick 25
40-So that's your location, huh? Well my back is to a shark tank.