Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
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Comments (240)
Fsqu4red 5
Build up some stamina
woahbro2slow 0
it shouldn't matter how long he lasts. a lot of guys can't last for 10 seconds
thrAsHeRr9081 16
It does matter how long a guy lasts . . .
woahbro2slow 0
today I said the same thing as the guy below me did. but I got thumbed down. FML
enonymous 9
34 - it's sexism. Don't worry
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You're not a female, so how would you know if it's "always painful?"
yamatelle 19
Look on the bright side, OP, at least he was able to get it up. There's nothing more disappointing than getting ready to have sex for the first and find out that his dick is limper than a 3 month old banana.... Not that Im speaking from experience or anything...
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I'm not making it a sexist issue, you are.
fanceh 10
40- you say she's experience? It states in the FML itself that she lost her virginity......
rawrriri 8
71, you say 40 says she was experienced. It says in the comment "it sounds like your experienced"......
stro88 6
I bet it was the best 2 seconds of your life! You'll probably be one of those girls cursed with never having an ****** cuz you insult a fantastic 2 seconds.
xSwaGKinGx 0
92 - it said 2 minutes , not 2 seconds, dumbass
herpitydurteedur 0
Yeah, because every virgin has never masturbated before and there's absolutely no possibility of them having use a vibrator before. Smh.
herpitydurteedur 0
That was directed @49 btw
thrAsHeRr9081 16
That's what I was pointing out. . There are many different factors.
randomthingstv 5
49- its been proven thag stretching before does not as much as people think. Stretching after helps more.
enonymous 9
111- hold on he has to flex his abs more and get the right lighting before he answers
DjeePee 25
Euhm, 40, I am a girl, I have lost my virginity and...it didn't hurt. Not even a single bit. And I know a shitload of other girls who hadn't had pain during their first time. It's true, many girls have a very painful first time, but there is no reason to generalize. I had to laugh when I read what her boyfriend said. I've said the same thing to my boyfriend, even a couple of times. He trusts you, OP, just give him some time. Oh, and don't forget to tell him that you would prefer the sex to last longer, maybe he forgot to hold it up because it was also his first time. Don't be afraid to communicate. (ps, to everyone that says that a guy is unable to last more than 10 minutes during his first time, to everyone that is thumbed down because they said they could last more than 20 or even 45 minutes: my boyfriend could last for two hours and a half during our first time. Oh, and he didn't have 'minor amounts of alcohol, cockrings, desensitizing condoms or a Pre-Sex wank'. Feel free to thumb this comment down if this fact is too unbearable to look at.)
bxe255 9
163, I thumbed you down for giving a boring life story and acting like you are some sort of authority on the subject, not because it upsets me your boyfriend can last a while.
ahsila 1
My first time felt amazing and didn't hurt at all because my hymen had already broken the first time I was fingered. Like the OP, I also wish the guy lasted longer than 2 minutes my first time.
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
She could be my wife :D That good? Best 30 seconds of my life! ;)
enonymous 9
31 - That night was magical. Straight out of one of those Cinemax after hours movies.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Is it bad I last for an hour and a half? O.O
Enslaved 38
No, it's just bad that you can't tell time.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
I love how people think im joking -.- ehh what ever I know I can and I know I can give one hell of a good time.
Soloman212 28
That skinny, long, red hand that moves fast is the hour hand, right?
illmatic2 16
56: Even if you're telling the truth, which I really doubt you are, you're still a douche for trying to brag about it to us.
Keyman1212 14
Enonymous, we are done! You aren't allowed to **** the troll, then come crawling back to me, expecting me to touch your penis that you've affectionately named "Mr. Butters"! You bastard, how could you do this to me!?! After all the promiscuous encounters we've shared on the cereal isle at Walmart, or the passionate sessions of love we've made in the back of police vans, because, let's be honest, we were a little too drunk and compared penis sizes with that one 8 year old...
enonymous 9
(Stands outside Keyman's house all night holding up a boombox over his head playing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel)
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Yah keep laughing, but I legit know some guys that the first time lasted 10 seconds (so he says, probably more like 3). I can't speak from experience... but don't expect guy to last very long, especially if they are young because they might actually last 20-30 seconds.
enonymous 9
133 - I do too when I white knuckle wrestle the baby worm
Keyman1212 14
You sumbitch... I love you, I can't let you go!!!
Keyman1212 14
133- I'm guessing you can't speak from experience because you've only been pounded in the rectum from behind, by a man who prefers to go by 'Sally', and you cried the entire time. A little too accurate? That's probably because I AM THAT SALLY.
enonymous 9
I can't quit you
Keyman1212 14
Your comment just made my dick queef. I need to stop taking my little sister's Ritalin...
seraphina16 0
Yeah haha 2 minutes is a long time for his first
crazychick1269 7
wow that really sucks op!!
Hockey_Eh_ 1
Ur retarded
kiid_NiiNjA 0
Agreed.
LuHGiiiT 11
....disagreed? 0_o
fatraptorjesus13 9
do you ever say anything besides " That sucks"? just wondering
crazychick1269 7
#115 THAT SUCKS THAT SUCKS THAT SUCKS THAT SUCKS THAT SUCKS SUCKS THAT SUCKS
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Obviously not... She is too dumb
mike410 0
Dumbass
ThreeSheetsGone 12
118- A little creativity and ingenuity goes a long way.
spazz666 18
Lol at the maturity levels. C'mon. My 8 year old cousin would comment like that. Be a little more mature please? *smh* >.>
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
ejjamael 5
my first time last over 20 minutes
ChelseaAnn2012 0
Hahaha yeah it's new at first but guys never get tired of it :p lol
skata 4
35- that's longer than a lot of **** movies
ryanebk 7
Lol I lasted 45 mins my first time... Tip: to go in hot with a loaded gun!!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Why is everybody thumbing down 35 and 103? It's not impossible.
slushpup9696 12
It's because nobody cares about how long they lasted in the backseat of a Prius, awkwardly fumbling and smashing against the cup holder.
philitron128 0
I'm pretty sure you're actually a virgin -_-
cynically 19
That could mean you have delayed ejaculation from masturbating too much. Good work.
kimee21_fml 15
Don't be too harsh on him, next time it'll be better, practise makes perfect, so what are you waiting for? ;)
lindseyluvszac 4
Nothing better than losing your virginity in highschool ;)
rattusrattus 19
Tell me, oh mystical and knowledgable one, how you divined that the OP was still in school?
LilBunny 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, losing one's virginity in high school is great The possibility of dropping out of school, getting pregnant, or STD must be great too?
lindseyluvszac 4
My phone doesn't display sex, age, or location, so kindly calm down. Oh btw it was sarcasm, y'know like a joke. Just saying..
datgamerchick 14
27- People are stupid and misinterpreted your obviously sarcastic comment.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
27, Cause everyone that has sex in high school is getting STDs by the thousands, dropping out and popping out babies left and right. Sure, that could happen, but it hasn't much to do with "losing their virginity" in HS.
CryMoreFMLs 15
It's in Texas. I'm in Texas. Chances are, she's right about the OP being in highschool.
mike410 0
Just saying , please stop making comments there pretty annoying
mike410 0
Shut up plz
mike410 0
What if you list your virginity in middle school?
mike410 0
Btw your an ugly couple, just sayin
Penn2894 6
At least your boyfriend didn't throw a towel at you afterward and expect you to clean the bed.
absolutegrrr 7
Bitter?
justanotherhuman 21
...do you wanna talk about it?
yusheng029 3
He was just happy, juuust happy.
ultra_notorious 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I recently said something like that to my FWB, but it was after I gave her two mind-blowing orgasms and I was slightly intoxicated.
MangoRico1 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Should of smacked him.......
aligiorav 11
Yeah, because slapping him around is definitely going to help him keep control...