Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
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Comments (240)
lisaaarrrggghhh 0
LoL My first time... when the guy was done he walked out the room 2 minutes later, I get dressed, walked out and found him playing xbox NBA jam naked on the couch..... good times.
SolemnlyLove 7
GJ getting yourself a wonderful first time memory...
justanotherhuman 21
...it's little literary gems like this, that genuinely make me question some people's judgement. On sooo many levels.
Darklord53 0
So, you wanted your first time to last for a long time and then didn't expect your bf to be amazed at a semi-erect penis after ejaculation? You're too greedy, it was probably his first time too so ask him to ********** slowly when he does and it'll build his endurance.
Valdrek 26
Geez go easy on the lad, it was his first time. You watch too much **** if you think any guy will go much longer for the first few *****
higgy6969 7
Oh to be 15 again
Hannahrayne 0
That's so funny! I wish I had ur boyfriend lol
Valdrek 26
Haha ;P
athenseric 6
He came He saw He smacked
KiMMieBeAr17 0
Hahahahhaa thats awesome :)
missbadluk 0
If she JUST lost her virginity then I'm sure she wasn't so "fun in the sack" either and I can bet she didn't know what she was doing either except for what she's heard or seen on tv or something. Don't see why everyone is telling her to get someone with experience. SHE doesn't have experience either! She probably just layed there. Apparently the op has watched too much **** or has heard from friends or people on tv that sex lasts for hours or so. So she has expectations of something that wasn't reality. Assuming this was the dudes first time too..obviously he doesn't have the technique down of controlling when he blows. Usually dudes with more experience do. I'm just saying that I'm sure she wasn't all that fun in the sack either since it was HER first time! Feel sorry for your bf OP to have such a complainer of a gf who doesn't even realize what she's complaining about. She's basing it off of what she has HEARD how "good sex" is supposed to be like.
MzViKki 4
Your right!!! Why do girls judge lyk that majority of females wen they start having sex they sit there and let the dude do everything but than they eventually start participating more. A girl that sits there and says shes ****** back since the get go is a dam liar and i should bitch slap em lol.
gunner2590 0
You should have been getting that thing erect enough for round two instead of posting. It usually lasts longer each time. He might have given you ten.
alexFYL 11
Um, if you just lost your virginity, you wouldn't have been complaining about him only lasting two minutes. You would have said it's taking too long. OP, the only person who needed to think you were a virgin was your BF - we at FML don't care, you don't need to pretend for us.
joa76 3
Huh? Why the heck would you want your first time to last less than 2 minutes? That doesn't give you time to actually get into it and start enjoying it.
joa76 3
Man, you people must have had really crappy first times if you just wanted to get it over with.