Nuts
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
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Comments (240)
eurekaroy 6
>.< I can't see it.
Egnar 19
Well I hope you don't expect hours of sex. Frankly, the average man lasts between 5-7 minutes without any kind of assistance (minor amounts of alcohol, cockrings, desensitizing condoms, Pre-Sex wank). When you hear about people having sex for hours it's usually the culmination of foreplay and several rounds of sex. 2 minutes?. . .If that's the entire experience, sucks, sorry - - -2 minutes of actual sex for a guy I'm sure is just as young as you, especially considering his comments afterwards. . Meh, it could be a lot worse, frankly.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I've had sex excluding foreplay for hours upon hours, and I can testify that while it seems like a good idea while it lasts, your genitals will suffer in hell and detest you immensely for the next few days. You'll be stumbling about like an idiot, praying you don't run into your boss, mother, grandma, whoever, and have to explain yourself. Just work on it OP, it's a learning experience. Nobody knows what they're doing at first.
alexFYL 11
I'm a woman, and quite frankly, if a guy lasted longer than 20-30 minutes, I'd probably start thinking of all the other stuff I need to get done sometime today, and wondering when he's going to finish, and PROBABLY start thinking something is wrong. For some reason, people tend to slip into hyperbole when they consider time. Sit in silence, for 5-7 minutes. It is actually quite a long time. Sit in silence for 20-30 minutes... that is unbearable. So when someone says it "took like 10 minutes for the waitress to bring our drinks", hah, it was probably more like 4 minutes. Guy says he lasted for 30 minutes? Mmm, I'll give him 9 minutes, tops.
Egnar 19
to 144/151 it's a learning experience but that is the ACTUAL average based off several scientific studies (not my own personal experience). Will a new scientific study come out tomorrow disproving it, probably, that's how science works. Now if you need to know the definition of average I can help you with that as well. . . I find it hard to believe anyone is having 1 ROUND of sex for hours upon hours. If I last more than 30 minutes my girl is looking at me puzzled, semi annoyed and slightly in pain because of drying up. And by "my girl" i mean whichever I happen to be with at that point in my life, not the only girl that's happened to.
kitties_fml 12
I'm 21 and the guys I'm with are usually able to cum and get hard again quite quickly with my help, so "rounds" kind of blend into one another and make for an average of 2 hours of sex in a "session."
Egnar 19
Like I originally said 168, sex can last for hours [My personal record is 12 hours, it was awesome]. But that's not just 1 time during the night, that'd be crazy! Any guy I've ever talked to about sexcapades pretty much agrees and uses terminology that implies that while it's understood that it's one NIGHT of sex that "how many times did you have sex that night?" is in reference to how many times you've cum.
kitties_fml 12
@170: yeah, I guess that's true for some people, but I was just offering a different perspective.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
179 I completely agree with everything you said. I can't imagine getting bored after 5 minutes. If your mind wanders afterwards, then sorry, but you're either not doing something right or are just not as sexual by nature. Maybe read up on tantra, it can help. And my personal record is a 7 hour session with 2 smoke breaks of 5 minutes in between. And yes, we have a clock. And yes I'm a female. Everyone is different, so it's a bit dumb to assume people are automatically lying about their sex life. That said, something like this is definitely NOT going to happen the first time you have sex.
ipusstroll 0
I know someone that did 40 o. O
katyglaze 3
Was he a virgin too? He sounds like he didn't understand what was going on :/ FYL right now, but luckily for you - it will definitely get better after that one. You need to find a guy that knows what he's doing so you can experience what intimacy is really like.
AnagenisisZagus 13
44, you are either an accomplished troll, or ridiculously stupid.
rogerover 19
He still had a hard-on. GO AGAIN.
seximexi911 10
Yea you're definitely 15
white16sox 19
86 or an accomplished, ridiculously stupid troll.
Neonnight 0
Lol wierd
xXT9Xx 0
Atleast he didnt smack u with it, thats what i would do :D
enonymous 9
Keyman you knew what you were getting in and out and back in to. That 8 year old had us both beat combined... WTF Walmart?!? We ****** behind the movie theatre... We found out we were caught and filmed on the IMax screen. You cheated first!!!
d3derekwalker 0
Tell him to breath slower, that's what I do, helps ya last longer(;
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Or watch Family Guy during. Unless you're into Peter.