Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
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Top comments
CoolCookie210 22
That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.
betweenwinds 18
Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)
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Comments (98)
Beyto7000 20
Typical guy, I suppose.
Lebeaugars95 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doesn't matter had sex
TH_Insomniak 15
she put a bag on my head
JustinJK 21
barely. It takes longer than 20 seconds to get your clothes off.
missyfiona89 28
would rather not have sex than to have a crapshag.
doge750 16
I think she might been a raciat
kenyrabit 25
Ok #2, lol. You're funny. That's funny.
DaRito 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I feel really bad for him, actually. Maybe you can help him with his stamina.
crudeandrudeguy 29
It's typical male insecurity, no way was he going to admit how epic his failure was....
DaRito 25
#33 - Chances are it's why he was crying.
Matt_Hazard 16
Or, maybe he needs to be a man and rub out that easy one. It's a simple concept, and I don't understand why so many guys have trouble with it.
Tripartita 45
Is that what keeps you from crying, #84?
SK8WITME 19
It'll get better with time. lol
SalenaCrosse 16
I'd hope so, cause it'd take serious skill and effort to get worse than that lol
CoolCookie210 22
That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.
MDoremis 38
Gossiping afterward always makes it better.
trucker2 33
Not
JHPugh 19
Or gossip to his friends. They'll give him shit for you
milehigh52 22
That's real mature. Do you know how embarrassing that must be for the or poor guy? I hope y'all were joking and I'm the only one that didn't get it.
MDoremis 38
If it's so embarrassing in the first place, why bother bragging about it? It greatly reduces the risk of finding out that one, his bragging wasn't true, and two, she would feel the need to correct his erroneous statements. I would personally prefer keeping mum on the subject and if she spilled the beans it makes her look like a bitch instead if him like a braggart.
coatl45 11
If the guy doesn't want her gossiping about it, he wouldn't be talking about it in the first place. Plenty of guys from my school was bragging about their exploits, but I believed that about as much as I believe Area 51 stories. Never had much interest in bragging myself.
deathshead 19
57 gotta love hearing the guys at school bragging aboit their 7 foot dicks, which is bigger than they are and wouldnt even fit in their pants, and yet magically no dicks dragging on the floor...
JHPugh 19
Tell his friends how shitty he actually was!
Ms_ValS 27
I hope they read this, I really do.
Ltturner234 12
For real. call him out for lying
Kittyphysics 21
jesus no. the best way to destroy a man is to demasculate him in front of his friends. let him have his bs story. it's not hurting anyone.
tgodluke 17
Tell his friends he has a small penis
KaliApate 11
yes because listening to FML about your love life has always been a good choice.
ArturoRamirez 16
What a douche.
betweenwinds 18
Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)
gracehi 33
Good advice.
derangedplanet 23
this is so clever. if he wants to lie he should be backing up with making it reality.
Axel5238 29
If he's willing to boast about the pounding he apparently gave her I doubt calling on it will do him good. Plus, why bother? He turned into a a complete wuss during sex and now wants to brag? It wasn't just a white lie it was full on slammed into douche lie. I doubt the guy would be willing to improve and if he's that insecure **** it. Everyone is nervous their first time. Shit I get nervous first time with someone new, doesn't mean you gotta lie about how good you are in bed. No shame in learning, but kinda hard to teach that.
KK3137 31
It's fitting how the wisest comment in this whole comment thread comes from the user with an owl picture :)
MisterEx 28
#11, if you are in a relationship, your partner is one lucky bastard to have a woman as wise as you are. If you are single, someone will be one lucky bastard to have a woman as wise as you are. I am from the Middle East. So my offer to wife you is 2 camels and a baby goat. Yes.
dyscomonkee 12
Why would you want give it up the asshole again?
americanafrican 32
what a pos. why lie. just dont say anything at all