Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
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Comments (240)
Petunia888 13
I absolutely love the last part of the FML! I do have to agree with Perdix, though: older guys are better. Otherwise: practice makes perfect. Oh, and not everything is bigger/better in Texas. ;)
perdix 31
Especially since I left.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Doesn't matter. Had sex.
My_Nightmare 19
but I cried the whole time. . .ha ha
Hamcons 1
Take it as a component. You are that good!
Jollymanroper 1
You lost you're virginity what are you complaining about... he sounds like a funny guy rather than a douche bag so you should be glad you've got him... and 2 minutes for first time is pretty good.. tony hawke lasted like 30 seconds on his first time so cut the guy some slack.
TheNewGuy03 29
How, pray tell, did you get a hold of such information...? |the kid|
yusaku02 20
Pretty sure his autobiography mentions it... not going to go look it up but I've got that book laying around somewhere
TheNewGuy03 29
I actually don't have a copy of Tony Hawk's autobiography. That said, using Tony Hawk as a, erm, measuring stick for how long one is supposed to last during sex would be less effective when compared to, say, Ron Jeremy...or something else that lasts a long time. Like a Twinkie. |the kid|
chane1100 6
I didnt even come my first time lol i was interupted:P
lifeisabitchandy 2
Haha that's pretty funny, I recommend you guys do it some more and get him some practice so he can last longer! Or next time throw it back in there and go for round two that's what'd I'd do.
Buzzy123 7
He's at a pro level.
Buzzy123 7
Btw its ok I'm here ANYTIME you need me instead I last 4 mins.
michi23 0
What are you like 12?
lulzmylife 4
What a charmer. I recommend sleeping with men rather than boys.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Then who's gonna sleep with all the boys and turn them into men? We're bound to have a shortage eventually that way. So for the sake of humanity, go **** the boys!
mrkatrina7 0
Your a stupid ass freak ************!!! The boys need practice and aren't wrinckly at all and ewwwwwie your a ******* freak!!!! You freak and I agree with the other person that replied to you!!!! :P still ewwie and plus my boyfriend is amazing at sex and it's not all people just some boys so yaaaa!!!!! He might have liked it and at least he saw you naked so he will totally like that and how old are you????? Seriously?????
sara005 7
#232 What the hell is your problem, are you 14? You're acting as if a 27 year is "yuckie" and "wrinkly". I feel sorry for you, grow up.