Absolute beginners
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
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Top comments
lahp 0
thats what you get for dating 6 year olds....
ThatLooksSticky 16
Making out is kissing (each other's lips), and maybe "heavy petting" or "groping." Oral sex is using your mouth on another person's genitals, which usually aren't located on the face.
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Comments (218)
esme3101 0
FIRST!!!
lickmyjock 0
cherry poppage
Stumblebum30 5
#2 what are you talking about? She had to convince him HE was still a virgin.
Lozza111 0
haha, I moderated this but only just realised what it ment, lol, I think I should read things mire carefully OP: how old is he, 5?
lucious_mama 0
wow he's gotta be in grade school... wait... u would have to be... WTF are you doing on here OP?!?
jdawgg92 1
wow
andruha1123 5
7, the ****? everyone is a virgin at one point...
unfortunate_13 5
why were you making out with a 10 year old?
jplumbob 4
1 most likely not for long. don't you all understand yet that saying "first" usually gets your post removed?
susieKiute 0
are you and him like 7 or what? even my 10 yr old lil sis knows it isnt the same!
Stevefett 0
Damn girl! How good did you kiss him?
hooah33 0
have sex with him. then everyone wins
666Alyssa 3
If you can't feel it, you're still a virgin. Lol.
esme3101 0
#36 I don't see my post gone so screw u
tencentsakiss 19
no 79, 36 is right. the mods probably haven't noticed it yet. usually comments that only say first disappear within an hour because they are pointless.
armandoX113 0
the point is that the boyfriend thought he lost his virginity by making out with her. she had to convince him hes still a virgin
bricksta_op 0
just curious. is your bf's name matt?
KaraShinee 0
okay so op ur going to convince ur bf he is a virgin, but how would you know? don't go off thinking crap op
raymel 5
awww he's cute
lazydawg 0
That's awesome! You should have let him think he lost his virginity! I have two girls and I hope that I can convince them that even holding hands will get you pregnant...then they will never come close to a guy!
Talented1_fml 0
I guess you have to show him where to put his dick when you do actually have sex.
esme3101 0
#82 it's been nearly 48 hours I don't think it will go:)
JokerJohn7 0
lmfao!
Mehness 0
141 - Take kindergarten again and maybe you'll learn to tell time, esme :)
snagglepaste 0
Wow what a dumbass.
Neon_Radikal 0
Anyone who says "First" automatically loses. :) I think everyone finds it stupid and annoying.
boyguydudemalema 0
that's some cute shit right there
webb2194 0
wow I swear you had to be 17 to get this app. certainly doesn't sound like you are lol well your bf isn't at least
evilbunnypao 0
mhahahaha really funny good 1, OP seriously what did you do ? nasty girl hahaha xD
lahp 0
thats what you get for dating 6 year olds....
Lozza111 0
I dunno, i'm pretty sure I knew what sex was as a six year old, you have to be pretty young to not know that like OPs boif did
kashman95 1
doesn't that just mean that your good at kissing
HunterDanielle 3
wow. so, Sarah Palin is against teaching kids about sex Ed in school... apparently you Americans really need it.
Princessx3Jamie 0
What exactly isss losing your virginity? Everyone has their own way of looking at it!
J33bus 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
making out is considered oral sex. so yeah.
anela_fml 0
ummm should we get you a growing up pop up book?
J33bus 0
what for? do you think im like 6? what i said is actually true, it is oral sex. but every persons view on losing their virginity is different, be it oral, anal, or just plain old sex. it doesnt matter.
SynchUp 0
Wow you're dumb.
boredatwork11 2
technically virginity is lost upon penal penetration of the ******. so yes, technically speaking your dads are still virgins.
J33bus 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i'm dumb? so because i say something entirely true, im dumb. huh. and i kniw what that is bored, i already lost mine.
andruha1123 5
you are correct, even touching is sex...
boredatwork11 2
so if touching is sex then everyone who has ever breast fed has committed incest. good theory jackass
andruha1123 5
I meant pleasuring someone with your fingers etc.. go look it up, dumbass
ThatLooksSticky 16
Making out is kissing (each other's lips), and maybe "heavy petting" or "groping." Oral sex is using your mouth on another person's genitals, which usually aren't located on the face.
J33bus 0
sex is considered the transmission of fluids jackass. so all im saying is making out is oral sex. so chill out, intercourse is a whole different thing.
boredatwork11 2
here's one; today i was on fml and a bunch of teenie boppers were all excited because they believe that because they touch a penis/vaina or kissed someone under the bleechers at school that they're not virgins anymore.... ftl
jplumbob 4
J33 are you stupid or what? Wait oh I understand. You must be like 12 or somewhere around there. Don't worry you will grow up someday and maybe then you will get it.
jplumbob 4
38. haa haa haa. Thats great. I love it.
Bloodbathandbeyo 0
Lol I love how bored just completely pulled something out of his ass. nobody ever said touching/kissing = losing your virginity, now, I think you need to go lose yours and chill out, or grow up a bit, either one.
jplumbob 4
35 / J33bus. So many years ago I became blood brothers with my best friend. So according to your screwed logic I guess we had sex. Oh wait here's another one. when I was a baby my Mom was changing me and as all little babies do I peed with my diaper off. Mom said my aim was perfect and yep you guessed it right in her mouth. are you saying I had sex with my mom when I was an infant you suck bastard. There is no definition anywhere that says sex is the trasfer of body fluids. You are so very immature.
JGood09 0
i think J33 is just mad cuz hes still a virgin
Epic_Phale615 0
Time to find a new bf op :p
freedomman 0
I have no interest in talking shit, but the other people are right. sex is actually defined as a penis entering a ******. even "oral sex" isn't really sex. it's just a ********
iBelieveU 0
Is it just me, or does it seem like everybody on FML is a pre/post pubescent teenager? including everyone who argued about #5's point. I think it's time to delete this app from my iPhone, cause all these children r annoying arguing and namecalling over bull$#!+.
Cinn_fml 23
Not everyone on here is a stupid only-just teenager. Some are actually older than that and some aren't stupid. But there are a lot, and they are kinda annoying, it's easiest just to ignore them.
ticklemechantell 0
are people really argueing over what another defines as sex.... wow.
brit_ney 0
#5 you are an idiot
melsaraj 9
I've never seen a bigger dumbass
melsaraj 9
j33 don't bother defending something when you clearly don't know shit and are trying to sound smart. and andruha, your just as dumb as who ever tried making a point in this argument. ****** idiots gave me a headache reading this thread. jus sayin
armandoX113 0
sex is not the transfer of fluids. you cant spit in someones mouth and call it sex
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Why do you guys care so much about how another person defines "sex?" Seriously, everyone has their own opinions. Some people may consider making out a very sexual act and count it as oral sex. Even if your opinions different, why do you care.
mustafa_fml 0
just cause he's not A good kisser doesn't mean he's a virgin.
DncrHap 9
95, that actually depends on the person. i personally didn't think losing my "oral sex virginity" was even a fraction as important as losing my actual virginity. so, you can't just say that oral sex is just as much sex. because, first off, it technically isn't. and second off, beliefs on that subject depend on the person.
OMGJASMiNE 0
awwwwh how cute(x (that hez a vergin) (:
JulzKay 0
Uhh, no... Sexual Encounters, such as Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, Foreplay... All involve, well, SEX ORGANS! Sex organs would be the Penis and the ******. Moron.
kybabyy 4
Most of these comments make me ashamed to be a teenager. At least learn how to properly form a complete idea before you try to force your opinions upon others. -I'd also like to add my mom once told me kissing is a form of sex, or something along those lines. It was creepy as well as stupid so I tried to tune her out o_o. I'm pretty sure it's just a ****** up way of trying to keep your children safe.
ThatLooksSticky 16
lol I love how 42 is an idiot. if you read before you post, you will see that a kid said, "making out is sex. so yeah." in other words he said, "touching and kissing is sex. so yeah." I didn't make stuff up, and I'm not a kid. so yeah.
icecreamlol 0
if u can get an STD then it counts! :D happy?
J33bus 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why are people auch jackasses? ****, i say one little thing and now im 12, a virgin, and gay. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN AND HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME? y
claiiire_fml 17
lmfao jesus christ you're a ******* moron! like seriously were you hit in the head too many times as a kid? fyi, these things called CONDOMS get worn. that's probably a big new word for you since you just found out what sex was by everyone correcting you. anyways CONDOMS get worn, so there is no fluid. sex ISN'T the exchange of fluids. everyone who backwashes would probably be taking a lot of people's virginity. if you were trying to be funny, EPIC FAILURE. if you were serious, then get off this website and delete your account because you're way to young to be having one.
claiiire_fml 17
win! and i LOVE your name.
Bloodbathandbeyo 0
Lol 140 I was talking about in the comment, nobody said kissing is losing your virginity anywhere. You might be a retarded 8 year old, but never try to correct me.
Bloodbathandbeyo 0
He said making out and kissing are "oral sex". even if you have oral sex, you're still a virgin.
SK25Reboo 0
#34, & #38 = win!!! and btw, transfer of liquids no equal sex :/ transfer of liquids = O-S-M-O-S-I-S
pinkXrainbow 0
I love how everybody is ******* fearless when no ones looking. do I need to clear this up? because literally, you guys are seriously not embarrassing others, but your own self. sex: oral (genitals to mouth) anal( penis to anus) vaginal(penis to ******). now I know I said a lot of big words for most of you putrid morons, but your going to need to know them. Has NOTHING with exchanging ******* fluids. WTF? kissing, is some type or form of foreplay. okay? case closed. now everyone shut up and get back to spending the rest of your lives hating on people you don't know like pathetic losers. k? great! bye. (:
pinkXrainbow 0
foreplay:(in case some of you idiots need help) is acting and teasing in a sexual way, but not actual sex. so no, kissing is not oral. because that's mouth to genitals. SOMEONE needs to do sex Ed again.
biwinning88 1
making out is no where near having sex...I feel sorry for how uninformed you are about sex, real life sexual experiences is gonna be a slap in the face. I understand you must be young but the fact that you think kissing is oral sex makes me think your patents lied to you.
wuidd77 3
the world would be a much better place if we just let the retards like you die off. the worst part is you don't even know you're stupid. /facepalm
cutiecakes98 8
Then why comment ?
NamelessFace 22
Most likely someone already said this but it can't be considered sex by anyone unless sexual contact is made, which requires anyone's body part touching the genital area of someone else, so unless you're making out with someone on their crotch, it's not oral sex.
marigoldcobain 21
sexual intercourse- sexual contact between individuals involving penetration, especially the insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's ******, typically culminating into ****** and the ejaculation of semen.
marigoldcobain 21
no, it doesn't have to be a man and a woman. sex is basically penetration. it can be between gay men or straight people.
marigoldcobain 21
ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME, #99? Definition isn't an opinion. I can't just say that "and" means the same thing as dinosaur in plain english because the definition of the word "and" is a word "used to connect words of the same part of speech, clauses, or sentences that are to be taken jointly." and the definition of the word "dinosaur" is "a fossil reptile of the Mesozoic era, often reaching an enormous size."
boredatwork11 2
there's really nothing else to say, 3 said it all and 5 your probably the one this is about
boredatwork11 2
you're**
Granddragon 0
^^^GRAMMAR NAZI!!! lol
Sun_Kissed18 25
Lol.. it was the same person who was correcting his own mistake
FYLDeep 26
He should visit FML. You'll learn a lot of terminology on here really quickly. And at least 10% of it is accurate.
Petman1325 5
You could also send him to Urban Dictionary. You know how many terms and definitions of love and love making there are on there?
adolf_bonaparte 0
Don't worry with urban dictionary. I vote on the motion that everyone simply reads the definition of "sex" in Webster's dictionary. Maybe that will actually solve these crazy arguments.
lizabethp 11
Umm.. have sex with him then!
Cinn_fml 23
Tbf if the OP's bf thinks that making out is losing his virginity then they're probably not old enough to actually be having sex. Certainly not mature enough anyway. Though, OP, are you sure he wasn't joking?
RyGuy748 0
agreed. 5 is the fag who put this fml up
boredatwork11 2
yea he proabaly typed it in the third person (as his gf) just tower what others had tonsau because he still doesn't believe her.
J33bus 0
hahahahaha yiu're funny
thesda 0
not as funny as reading some if your posts J33 xD and yeah I gotta say are op and 'friend' like 10??
requiem360 0
every one is right j33, u suck
CalGirl1990 0
I'm gonna assume that he believes any kind of intercourse means that you lose you're virginity. the definition of virginity is too loose. I'm sure he knows the difference between sex and intercourse
troubleinharlem 0
wait... what? sex is essentially intercourse.
andruha1123 5
sex can be oral..
Keylogger_0 0
not if he's talking about oral sex, anal sex, nasal sex, ear sex, you catch my drift?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'm guessing it's a matter of sexual purity rather than virginity. Virginity in the common vernacular is objective; once you have sexual intercourse (penile/vaginal for heterosexuals, anal for gay men and oral for lesbians) you're no longer a virgin. Purity and abstinance are subjective; for some, kissing alone breaks ones purity, while for others, the limits are much looser. At least, I hope that's what the bf means O.o
jbsington 8
whoaa, nasal sex? =S
miss_la_rue 6
Ok, virginity is NOT loosely defined, it is for men: the penis penetrating through vaginal or anal sex, and for women: the hymen being broken through penetration (which can actually happen through oral sex or finger play). Interpretation depends on the person, etc etc, but that's the MEDICAL definition.
Freeze_fml 17
IF YOU HAD SEX, you aren't a virgin. Stop making it complicated. The other day I read something retarded about women trying anal to preserve their "virginity" for someone. Ear sex doesn't count. That's just stupid.
Petriestein 0
lol sounds like he's abit how does one put it nicely umm special lol
JohnBoyFsYL 10
how retarded is your boyfriend to not know he's a virgin? makes no sense.