Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
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Top comments
pokerface5 0
is ur dick small????
pohoo 0
If so, use fist.
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Comments (268)
pokerface5 0
is ur dick small????
thor89 0
Har har are you a girl or been practicing with your hand not enough Epic
abcnonamecba 0
tell her she is a genius XD what a great thing to say after sex
Rickymonkeypants 0
#1 win Op fail also op are you sure you got the right hole?
Im_Jesus_BITCH 3
Would they not both notice if he did? I know I would....
Jrook 0
WTF? right hole? I think the pain would be a hint
iSwag 0
she lied to you bro she's no virgin sounds like to me that Oreo had been dipped and twisted long before you got there
piinkbunnii 1
I agree with #167
mikkel_natas 0
There is no wrong hole. :)
xxjona777xx 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well yeah! 3 minutes isn't pleasing for a girl you premature eyaculator!!
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
WWJD? Jesus would probably use his magic powes to seal up her ****** and laugh, "Ha, ha! You're not like my mom anymore!"
RaKum12 0
hahahahaha u sck
NeonWar__ 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
perdix, I never used to like you, but I have to admit now, your quite funny. lol
lancer126 0
giggity
poooook 0
giggggity<3
helo2 0
gigitty goo
gods_hunter10 0
um Jesus would have never done it with His gf only his wife, and only without condomnation notice condom-nation? condom
Jose403 0
dude, she's not a virgin... sorry lol
lovin_darkness 0
HAHA!!! nice!
rbond93 4
hahaha he is, a friend of mine is so small the girl he did it with told me she was sleepy when he finished, took a total of 2 minutes
kpm404 0
The first time I did it with my boyfriend, I said that too after he stopped after three minutes. I said o him is that really all your going to do? he said fine I'll go as long ad you want. three days later I found our I was pregnent.
imnutsss 0
ydi girl
lemmingpants 0
you my good sir are lying.
yael1515 0
I agree too
GabbyCharityM 0
128 ; I just literally laughed out loud. Thanks for brightening my mood :D
xangelamonx 0
it's spelled comdamnation.
RawrNom 0
245- can you usually find out two to three days after conception? I thought it took a little longer... you must have had sex right before your period, but even then, you could have had a period so how did you find out just three days later that you were pregnant? just thought ' I'll buy a test... just in case I get pregnant' you should have bought condoms... unless there was a slip up... I'm confused how you found out after just three days? was it planned?
nic7973 23
ditto
MelissaHope1986 8
I agree most girls lie about when and how they lose their virginity as well as quantity of partners.
EMTchic 14
245- that is most definantly a lie . It takes up to four days for the fertilized egg to even make it to implantation and approximately two weeks for enough of the pregnancy hormone to build up in a woman's body to register on a pregnancy test . There is absolutely no way you could have found out you were pregnant three days after having sex . Also, if you are going to make up some BS to get attention, next time you should try to atleast make it slightly possible/believable BS . Ohkay ? Thanks .
pohoo 0
If so, use fist.
llAllStarll 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your life...end it
pohoo 0
#111 got small hands.
whoisthisgirl 4
omg those hands
spaerro 8
Actually, virgins usually have way higher expectations of what it's like, so it, more often than not, a disappointment. Don't worry OP.
jaydnnx 0
awwwww lol
hsshae 0
that sucks fly
RustyGuns 0
Shut it, virgin
xxxNataliexxx 0
OMG everyone look who's
1733817338 0
cool pic lol
punq 0
maybe you should fly over to china I'm sure the women there will appreciate your efforts much more.
buttonface 0
Horrible. You should practice on a cut fruit.
xxxNataliexxx 0
Look who's
beaudaniel08 0
snick your hot.
beaudaniel08 0
Natalie you are hot. you should hit me up sometime. sevenzerotwo3two4one7seven9
TheMeravig 0
I'm pretty sure you'll be in a grammar deficient world in the afterlife. Sort of an eternal damnation for you.
PsychoMerk 0
ssshhhh! phone sex? ;) jk! lameass!
elchiclebubalu 2
snicks ur a stupid virgin go use ur pinky toe for self satisfaction
TurtleHabitat 0
Well if you look at the quantum mechanics of the situation, you'll only see that the red variable quantified between the two variavle then you would see there is no reason not to give out your number on FML it may lead to a satisfactory action of self sufficiency. I tried not to misspell anything just for you.
helo2 0
lolololol
xStiglich 0
u look like a boy xP and If u r, then a gay boy
Bl0OdYShAdOw 0
You are one ugly motherf**ker. Everytime I see you comment. I throw up a little.
ArmenianPrincess 5
Thats rlly funny!! lmfaooo!!! FYL