EpicMayonnaise
United States
Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Qualicum Beach, Canada
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
poorclubgoer
United States
Rave on
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
I Tried
Burton, United States
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Anonymous
United States
The Lady in Red
Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML
divingconfidence
Maple Grove, United States
Don't even try
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
KL.
Canada
Misleading
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
IcantDance!
Daphne, United States
Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML
cakestar9
Ennis, Ireland
Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML
Anonymous
Rocklin, United States
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML
Top comments
slushpup9696 12
Maybe that's his name, and he'll be posting an FML soon about a girl who refused to dance with him because of his name.
slushpup9696 12
Yeah. I hate my name, Hospital Ceiling. Everyone makes fun of me and turns me down at dances.
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Comments (140)
slushpup9696 12
Maybe that's his name, and he'll be posting an FML soon about a girl who refused to dance with him because of his name.
Sunny_Eclipse 6
My thoughts exactly. But who knows? Maybe OP did dance with Bird Dog.
slushpup9696 12
Maybe someday they might have Chick Puppies.
marinus_fml 20
What a wannabee. That was so stolen from my all-time favourite kids show catdog.
overthelimit 3
this reminds me of that episode of spongebob where the dudes name is whatzit tooya.
JSmithlover12 0
Lol
iheartbewbies 0
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word. In this case, the bird is the dog. Meh, I tried. Shame on me.
FFPulley 9
Today, I was out at a bar and I asked some fugly girl to dance, out of pity, and she looked at me like I was an moron. All I said to her was "Hi, my name's Bird Dog Johnson, would you like to dance?" That's the last time I take pity on a Fug. FML
FFPulley 9
FML I went out to a club in Texas. Out of pity, I asked this fugly girl to dance with me. She looked at me like I was a moron. all I said to her was, "Hi, I'm Bird Dog Johnson, would you like to dance?" That's the last time that I take pity on a Fug.
fakeaccountX 6
If he was the only guy, who cares what his name was.
coffeygirl12 14
At least it wasn't Bird Shit?
luvppl 6
It's not from catdog, it's from a Disney show. All I have to say is, "Good luck, Charlie."
JMTS 0
You could be bird cat?
njgohard 16
Well, it was either that or Mike Hunt.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Maybe the OP is deaf and/or stupid and heard "Bird Dog" instead of, I dunno, Bernard??
dukefan302 4
was he hawt?
eminemchick 19
Based of the show "cat dog"?
shelbygordon44 7
It's catchy at least....
humorizer 14
Today, I met a not-so-good-looking girl and noticed she wasn't getting any dance offers. I decided to be nice and offer her a dance. I told her my name, Bertrard, but she kept insisting that I'm named BirdDog. I wish I hadn't spoken to this idiot. FML
shooterbuddy 8
Classic
Randomness90 27
lol
adrianm413 0
that's what I named my son. what's wrong with it?
genesisnirvana 11
The name sounds so ridiculous.
iBanana 17
I named my son Sparta, so everytime I introduce him I can yell THIS IS SPARTA!
BraBrando 0
With a name like that, he belongs on Jersey Shore.
MizzErikaHart 8
Clubs r usually loud, maybe op misunderstood.
mattmadden 0
51 that's like naming your son Luke so you can say "LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER".
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
If you have twins name one Sparta and the other madness, this is Madness no dad I'm Sparta, oh IS THIS SPARTA.
Catcherchick94 0
Ever heard of the indian ideal of "your babies name will consist of the first things you see after birth"
slushpup9696 12
Yeah. I hate my name, Hospital Ceiling. Everyone makes fun of me and turns me down at dances.
TorontoChik 0
Hahahahaha nice!
Catcherchick94 0
Yeah I feel ya, nice to meet you hospital ceiling, I'm dog pissing on tree
flagg1888 3
My indian name is two dogs humping
StopDropNRoll 11
Yea I got doctor's face :/
xcdog16 0
Well I'm shit in the toilet
cc_the_beast 6
Nice to meet you all, I'm Backseat Surprise
cptmorgan6 8
Hi, I'm Fecal Matter, and I am an addict.
jellyD 1
Well nice to meet you, I'm Pint O'Blood
Malkria 1
U guys are funny XD
Stealthed 8
Nice to meet you all, my birth was traumatic but I'm loving life. Regards, Coat Hangar.
nerdfighteria 7
83- I see what you did there . . .
MizzErikaHart 8
Did u now?
MizzErikaHart 8
Did u now?
Sesh54 7
Ya well mines the worst I'm a guy named pussy
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Hello everyone, my name's God Damn Ugly. So shut up.
sskarma23 9
My "Indian" name (i'm the real type of Indian parents from india however im Canadian) is "dumpster random pedophile hobo"
n_epic_fail 14
a bird and a dog? where was this woman having her baby?
HollyDolly660 8
The replies were great for a while, but the last few names were weak. Come on people, you can do better than that.
isallwaysme 27
An Indian man went up to his father and asked him how he named his kids, to which the father relied, "the moment my son is born, I go to sleep, and when I wake up and go out of my teepee, I name him after the first thing I see. My first son, I saw an eagle in the sky, so I named him, Eagle soaring. For my second son, I saw the moon in the sky, so I named him, Pale Moon Rising. Why do you ask this Big Dog Pooping?"
Catcherchick94 0
Beggars can't be choosers
lakaiskate 12
Maybe OP is super beautiful and she's intimidating to talk to?
Bree12345 15
it's not his fault that his name is so unfortunate
MangoRico1 1
Did he want to do the chicken dance?
heyhihello95 12
He must have a controversial personality
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Maybe his name had a hidden meaning? Example: "Bird Dog" = "**** Bitch"? Maybe he wanted you to have sex with him.
zona117 0
Or maybe it meant "swallow bitch".
Franco24 0
- i think it's sorta cute~
yamatelle 19
Introduce yourself as Bitch **** and your middle name is Cow Ask him if his dick's name Dinosaur ****.
yamatelle 19
It had a period, but I edited it and forgot to put it back. That's why you can see that the ask is still capitalized. I didn't have enough time to correct it.