Wife
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Not now
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Shantwozzlah
Kissimmee, United States
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Anonymous
Winnipeg, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Communication tool
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
sammy18f
Brentwood, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
mentallyscarred
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
whatnot
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
fmlalways
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
someoneneedsassistance
Woodford, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
16590
Sweden
Road rage gone feral
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
forever damaged
Wallkill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Top comments
Jacobt24 19
He wanted you to head south if you know what I mean
jumpshot23 0
He was pretending to drive a standard. Don't take his fun away.
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Comments (173)
midnightsky1 3
Why did he have it out in the first place???
jumpshot23 0
Why not have it out? A man should be able to have his penis out without his motives being questioned.
twinny_sc 13
Why not have it out?
latinking13 8
Because most cops that are on the interstate like ****
red1355 6
If u have to ask then ur a prude!
omgcookeys 15
If you got it, flaunt it! :)
btown99909 0
he wanted to flip someone off using his penis
aliadnan708 6
Lol good 1
birdfreak 24
Before or after someone saw it? Did zooming down the interstate with his dick out turn him on? Were you going to maybe check into a hotel for the night? ; )
himynameischeese 6
Well why did you do that!!! You may not ever see it again!!
ReynshineCutting 10
No man will ever turn down sex from his wife. It's just law.
SilentTreatment 7
Maybe he's trying to teach you how to drive stick!
BIEBERSLAYER 10
No highway delight for him. Buzzkill
xlorawrz 9
Let the man have his fun.
greg84_fml 21
That is fuc-king awesome, he's a keeper!!!
gmc_blossom 21
Aw, don't be such a killjoy. Severus Snape says it's perfectly fine to have ones genitals hanging out. So, it was perfectly fine.