Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML
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Top comments
Araj_Hs 19
I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!
Enslaved 38
Hope you then gave him directions to hell!
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Comments (157)
doge71 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well, did you like it?
invadermaythe1st 35
The fact that that this FML was created answers your question...
harmtouch16 11
Why so many down votes, it's a valid question! Come on guys. Yes it's horrifying but really, it's funny.
CoolCookie210 22
I'm going to hell for liking this comment
cocainewhore 30
How is sexual harassment funny #80?
chickenlips23 16
chessss I bet it was all tiny...
Otherhats 20
＋1 hilarity points.
Sethan01 24
#90 Your name is cocainewhore...shouldn't you be a fun person?
mnb1998 15
Right?!
Enslaved 38
Hope you then gave him directions to hell!
drumma_boi45 5
I think he already knows his way
ebonyirony 29
actually the best way to deal with people like that is to laugh at them.
rockwrench 18
Better yet, tell him to beat it!
The_Sexomancer 11
I think that telling him to "beat it" might only escalate the situation.
fifi125 21
Knee him so hard he never does it again
denottert 3
Should've kneed him so hard he wss able to taste his balls. damn creeps
metalhead4740 14
I get that the guy is creepy, but do you fully understand what you're asking the poor guy to be subjected to?
aylind 18
That "poor guy" is sexually harassing someone. He deserves more than a knee to the balls.
dizzyspanks 7
#42 you do realize he can go to jail and be registered as a sex offender for that? a knee to the balls is not that bad in comparison
metalhead4740 14
I never said he shouldn't be arrested or put on a list, but it speaks low of us when we resort to physical violence to punish people. Rehabilitation is the answer, not retaliation
laden_swallow09 35
Like with bullying, the only way you're going to stop a sex fiend is to put them in their place physically or verbally. More than likely physically. In the particular case of an exhibitionist, pointing and laughing works, too. Rehabilitation only works when they WANT to get better.
metalhead4740 14
And what if he has some sort of mental condition that causes him to do stupid stuff without thinking? Would kneeing him in the nuts still be the right answer?
sturschaedel 27
#77 for him to go to jail he needs to be arrested first, and OP doesn't know his name. Also, you don't just whip out you phone and call the police right in front of him. You don't know if he might get violent. First priority is to get out of this situation unharmed. But when you go to the police later and have nothing but a description of the guy, they don't have enough to go on to do something about him. That's why those guys usually get away with this crap. Something similar happened to me when I was 16 and waiting at a bus stop. The police just said they can't do anything without a name.
MDoremis 38
What a creep. Hope you kneed him.
Just_A_Tree 20
Suddenly you're a teacher in high school who's strict on cellphone policies, "Put it away or else it gets taken away. And don't pull it out anymore. There's no need for that here." Honestly there's a list of ways to react, but the best one ends in cops picking up a creep.
Crisler121413 13
#17- Do you know what a fallacy is? Yes, you can pull out a cell phone. Yes, a teacher can tell a student to put it away. A penis, however, is not a cell phone and it is NOT appropriate to just whip it out any time you like. Here's a guide: Cell phone in public = fine. Cell phone in certain specific places/situations = inappropriate. Penis in certain specific places/situations = fine. Penis in public = inappropriate.
volvagia720 6
Do you know what a metaphor is?
Crisler121413 13
Yes, I know what a metaphor is; my point was comparing that scenario to the one the OP experienced made little sense, logically. Hence the word "fallacy."
tantanpanda 26
#68, do you know what an analogy is?
niiiiick3 15
What the actual ****.
tonyfan00 38
My thoughts exactly.
CowzFan 12
How the **** does that even happen?
gintwinsmoore 20
#6 I couldn't agree with u more. some folks are saying what they would've done but in reality, the safest thing to do in a situation like that is to run...and more than likely, the ones saying they'd have done harm to him are lying. You don't know what you'll do until you're smack dab in the middle of a situation.
Araj_Hs 19
I hope you directed your hand to his face, and his path to the police station!
nider 19
That guy needs to be in a mental hospital.
fifi125 21
It's sad how many creeps are out there. What if he did this to a kid...
dcb132z 17
I know being on this web site make me fell like the world is full of people like him witch is not how it is but still
Nezumi04 20
OH GAWD! A real living pedobear! Hide yo kids hide yo wife!
hi_low18 6
I would have recorded and reported it to police. Perverts should be locked up.
tonyfan00 38
If she recorded THAT then I think the perv might get the wrong idea...