Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
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Top comments
HeyyShayy 15
You should've said something! Isn't there a law against public indecency?
anonymuse_fml 31
How does someone not notice that? Wouldn't it be cold?
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Comments (97)
anonymuse_fml 31
How does someone not notice that? Wouldn't it be cold?
MDoremis 38
I would imagine it was done purposefully.
sanchogrim 18
I would've definitely told him to get the **** out or I'm calling the cops.
FryingPanHero 11
They must live in Florida (if they're in the states).
TH_Insomniak 15
it says New York, united states.
thatguy240 27
The cold never bothered him anyway
kainpwnsu 19
Pretty hard to "accidentally" hang your junk out.
oj101 33
Perhaps he was trying to air it out.
crudeandrudeguy 29
You should have said "awwww does the little guy want a treat" while holding out a dog biscuit.
incoherentrmblr 22
I would've told him, "Keep the change ya filthy animal..."
I can't stand leg puns! 23
Isn't that, like, indecent exposure or something?
naaddzz 14
So much for keeping it in your pants
HeyyShayy 15
You should've said something! Isn't there a law against public indecency?
guii_fml 24
Indecent exposure
militarybrat 21
If it was on purpose yes, accidental no.
countryb_cth 38
Pretty sure if you accidentally leave your dick hanging out all day they can still arrest you for indecent exposure. Really don't think the police would care if it was on purpose or accidental.
LPac5295 27
You should have told him or called the police. What if there were kids around? There's no way he didn't notice that.
mattrd_fml 31
I would have called the police. he could be charged with indecent exposure.
hkhan24 23
What a dick move..
NeatNit 33
Sorry everyone, I had to vote this up
freddygasman 18
and NearNit everyone had to vote you down
SlashX19 16
I see what you did there ?
MonstreBelle 29
I hope you reported it to the police, especially since you have evidence of it on security footage. Indecent exposure is a crime. There is no way having his dick completely hanging out through his zipper was an accident. I really hope there weren't any kids around.
Elban 20
Sex offender in a lot of cases. Doing it so far from a school, playground and some others I think.
SorrowsReward 27
Maybe someone told him to rock out...